My Fun{ny} Valentine

on February 15, 2013
in All Posts

Watch out!  If you blink, you may miss him.

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I had a truly excellent Valentine’s Day.  Actually, now that I think of it, it was probably the best Valentine’s Day that I’ve had in several years.

 

I had two dates on Valentine’s Day. Winking smile  Wahoo, hoo – look out, sexy.

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Henry and I had lunch all by ourselves at my favorite Thai restaurant.  It was fun!  He tried tofu (yum), and I had a blast picking toys off the floor over and over and over again.  He’s really into chip clips right now – I keep a bunch of clip chips in my bag at all times.  He’s not strong enough to open them, of course, but they are the perfect size for gripping.  

 

He’s also into plastic keys, which I very often grab out of my purse and try to open the car with.  Whoops.

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The yellow curry was bangin’.

 

After lunch, we headed out to mom group.  We meet at a different location every week, but this week, we went to Discovery Place.  I’ve been three times this week!  I’ve realized that Henry sleeps really, really well on days we go to DP so… I pretty much want to live there.

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Here’s the group that attended, save for Andrea + Alice.  We’ve got a fun mix of big kiddos (I think the oldest is about 1.5 years) and little ones (8 week nugget) and a good mix of boys and girls. 

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It is funny to watch Henry with the group because he’s kind of the awkwardly aged one – not big enough but not little, either.  He crawls after the toddlers and tries to walk after them but just face plants.  Soon, my boy, soon!

 

We also checked out the aquarium. 

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It is REALLY nice to have a mom group.  It’s awesome for the stay-at-home-moms to get a break (yay, adult time), but some of our moms work full-time – they just take a long lunch around our meet-up times so they can come. Some wonderful bosses, I tell ya!

 

Henry and I came home, I changed and make a quick dinner to go, and then DadHTP dropped by to babysit.  I haven’t done much babysitting, truthfully, because it makes me so nervous.  But I’m trying to release control to other adults that I trust… It’s hard.  But Valentine’s Day is a good excuse for a babysitter, right?

 

I had to laugh when I got a text from DadHTP at 8 PM that stated: “Baby is alive and asleep.”  That’s what I like to hear!

 

Anyway, I took my meal to Kristien’s office, where he was just finishing up with the last patient.  We didn’t want to brave restaurants on Valentine’s Day, so we ate at his desk.

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I brought quinoa, greens, and some canned giant beans in pasta sauce (from Trader Joe’s). 

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And bubbly!

 

I found this Moscato at TJ’s – it was only $5.99.  If you like sweet whites, I definitely recommend it.  I’m happy to see that bubbly sweets are surging in popularity.  It used to be so hard to find sparkling Moscato, and now I feel like it’s everywhere.  Yum.

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Our big date night entailed bowling.  We used to bowl a lot back in Orlando but rarely go in Charlotte.  We should go more – it was so much fun.  And I actually broke 100 and won (for once).  He may have let me beat him for Valentine’s Day…

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A truly excellent day!

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And now… Happy Weekend!

{ 134 comments }

 

  • Allison February 15, 2013, 10:13 am

    What a perfect day and night. You are such a wonderful mother and wife 🙂

  • cat February 15, 2013, 10:19 am

    wow, is that last pic an old one? cause…my my…are you prego again??

    • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 10:20 am

      I’m approving this just so everyone can see how crappy you are! Way to be.

      • Sherri February 15, 2013, 10:35 am

        Really? I’ve heard of people being that ignorant but I’ve never actually witnessed it. You must be extra special.

        Caitlin, you are an awesome mom. And I don’t think I need to tell you this but I will anyway. You look fantastic!

        • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 10:36 am

          Thanks – I think all moms appreciate hearing it every now and then!

          • Jacquelynn February 15, 2013, 10:48 am

            I think you look amazing! I love reading your posts because you keep it REAL. As someone who is expecting her first baby in July, your posts give me confidence to be proud of my ever-changing body right now.

            Sounds like such a wonderful Valentine’s Day!

      • Heather February 15, 2013, 10:59 am

        Look, I agree that she could have stated it way better, but it seems like a reasonable question–BECAUSE you have been posting pictures where you look SO skinny and flat-stomached. So either you were faking it out/only posting flattering ones in those or somehow your stomach went back to being not flat (despite you working out a lot/eating well?). I’ll admit that I had the same thought–you look thin everywhere else besides the “baby bump” area.

        I don’t think asking this makes her “crappy.” Way to go to a completely mean place when someone even mildly insults you (when honestly, it was probably unintentional). Being the bigger person might have some merit.

        Also, what about body acceptance? If you do have a little paunch leftover from the baby, a more reasonable reply might have been “I’m still rocking my post-pregnancy stomach–mom and proud!” or something dorky like that. Immediately being like “YOU ARE CRAPPY BECAUSE I AM SO SKINNY NO ONE SHOULD SAY OTHERWISE” is the crappy thing here.

        • Sherri February 15, 2013, 11:06 am

          Hater.

        • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 11:09 am

          You have no idea how often I am the bigger person, day in and day out. Sometimes, you just want to call someone out on their meanness. I told her she was being crappy because she was commenting on someone else’s body in a negative tone (the ‘my my’ is what did it for me), which IS crappy. I don’t think looking postpartum is inherently negative – it’s reality and the result of a blessing! – but her comment dripped in body snarking.

          Although I get what you are saying re: the body acceptance thing and flattering v. unflattering language. That’s always a tricky thing.

          For what it’s worth, I actually don’t care in the slightest what I look like on the blog. I’ve posted pics with 20+ extra pounds, no makeup, messy hair, pajamas. I just don’t care because all of that is ME and I don’t feel the need to present a sanitized version of my appearance on the blog. Although I did want to get back into shape post-baby, trust me, I don’t really mind that my body has changed and I have stretch marks on my boobs. It’s nice that you think I only post flattering pics of myself! Thanks. People LOOOVE to tell me when I’m NOT posting flattering pictures of myself so I think you’re being generous. 🙂

          • Carly D. @ CarlyBananas February 15, 2013, 1:50 pm

            I don’t think that calling someone crappy is being the bigger person (even if they are in fact being crappy). That’s being the same as them. You didn’t have to put the comment through, Caitlin. You’re right, some people are jerks but you don’t have to go to that level and call them out…because as you said, it doesn’t help.

        • Kristy @ Kristy's Health Revolution February 15, 2013, 2:11 pm

          When has asking someone if they are pregnant EVER been acceptable? EVER? I’m sorry, but NO. There are days my stomach looks flatter than others, and I’m sure it’s the same for you. My stomach looks different on a day-to-day basis and it’s NEVER ok to comment and ask someone if they are pregnant. I don’t care if they are obviously (to you) 9 months pregnant, it’s RUDE.

      • Nikky February 15, 2013, 11:51 am

        Whether she was being snarky or not (I do think “my my” is almost always condescending), isn’t it at least equally as crappy to be like, “HEY! EVERYONE! Check out this jerk right here and attack!”

        Because what other possible reaction could you be hoping to get from the comments? You could have just as easily responded in private and let it go as easily as the other negative comments that don’t get through moderation. Unless it’s so you get the dozens of “No way, you are SO SKINNY!” comments to bask in (I don’t mean this to be snarky myself, but I just don’t see what other result you could be hoping to get.)

        • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 12:01 pm

          It’s impossible to respond to trolls privately because they never leave real emails – of course!

          • Cameron February 15, 2013, 2:10 pm

            Hi Caitlin,

            I have never commented before but felt the need to do so today. I don’t think calling someone a “troll” because they asked you a question is at all valid. You have a public blog. When you post daily pictures of yourself looking like you’re at your “pre-baby” weight, and then all of the sudden posting from another angle, people might wonder. While it might have not been polite, it certainly wasn’t as bad as you have made it out to be. And approving her comment, and then replying to it to say you did, doesn’t make you the bigger person. You seemed very offended and to be honest, that is not at all the response I expected from someone who preaches to embrace their body because “they are beautiful”. And yes, I have included my real email, so feel free to respond.

          • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 2:16 pm

            I didn’t say I was being a bigger person now – I said I usually do it all day everyday and sometimes, I don’t feel like being a bigger person.

          • hey_girl February 15, 2013, 2:19 pm

            yes! reading comprehension for the win. Haterz gonna hate, etc.

          • Anya February 15, 2013, 4:54 pm

            Hey_girl– I don’t understand why anything other than unabashed admiration is hating? Are you saying that if I have a respectfully dissenting opinion there is NO way to voice my thoughts on this very public forum without being a hater? If I’m a hater for saying anything other than “omg ur so brave n pretty” than I’d rather be that than dogmatic and/or never ever thinking for myself. I’ve been enjoying reading HTP for years now and rarely comment but I swear when I see things like “haterz gonna hate” posted after literally ANY comment not lauding Caitlin to high heaven AND Caitlin being nasty to people, I feel like I’m wasting my time reading this blog :/ It’s been fun Caitlin, I wish you and your family the best but I’m out. 🙁

          • Whitney February 15, 2013, 10:50 pm

            Later Anya! Your comments are ridiculous. Why is Caitlin not allowed to defend herself when someone is being mean and nasty?!

          • Crystal February 16, 2013, 12:46 am

            There’s a difference between defending and name calling.

          • Katie February 16, 2013, 5:17 pm

            HAHAHAHA oh my god that was so dramatic. Anya, don’t you think it’s a little hypocritical to back out of a chat forum immediately after having negative feedback yourself? Maybe try to be a bit more self-reflective next time.

          • Anya February 18, 2013, 5:21 pm

            Huh? I am confused by this comment??

          • Anya February 18, 2013, 5:56 pm

            Eeek I meant I am confused by this comment! (Not the one Caitlin posted underneath that I must have accidentaly replied to. I obviously suck at technology with the autocorrect typos and inability to comment correctly.) Backing out of a chat forum? I don’t sit around my computer checking my comments on a blog every five minutes. I checked a few days later, so here I am/was….

      • Anne February 15, 2013, 12:06 pm

        In a very naive way I will tell that it’s right that it’s the first time in weeks/months that we see your stomach in this angle. There is nothing wrong with it at all. But it is right that I thought, seeing all the pictures of you, that you were “back” to your pre-baby body. And I don’t think any reader (mom or not) judge you. xx

      • Lindsay February 15, 2013, 2:16 pm

        I haven’t been reading here long, so I actually read back a few posts to see if I had missed where you DID announce that you were pregnant again, and I don’t think I’m a crappy person. Also, the “my my” part? I can see how you could view that as being snarky, but you could also look at it as something more along the lines of “goodness! are you pregnant again?” – like, excitement, vs. snark. I think we tend to assume people have ill-intent when we are feeling insecure / defensive about the topic at hand. I ALSO don’t know why people get REALLY, really upset when someone asks if they are pregnant when they are not. It implies that having that type of figure while not simultaneously gestating a baby is a bad thing, which only leads to more body hate. If I happened to be tall and someone said “woah – are you wearing heels?” and I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be offended if they thought I was taller than I actually am.

        • Lindsay February 15, 2013, 2:25 pm

          editing last sentence in my comment: should read *I wouldn’t be offended that they thought I was shorter than I actually was. Sort of funny that that is the first example that came to mind, considering I’m actually quite short.

          • Yaara Leve February 15, 2013, 3:53 pm

            That is absolutely ridiculous. Thinking someone is taller/shorter is not the same as thinking someone is pregnant. Having a belly is a stigma in out society–and I don’t care how much “body acceptance” one has. It is body snarking and rude to comment on it. And it’s none of your damn business. For the record Caitlin–I think you look great and definitely not pregnant!

          • Lindsay February 16, 2013, 12:07 pm

            That was my point, actually. There IS a stigma surrounding having a fuller, rounder belly. Being offended by someone thinking you have a rounder belly only continues to feed that stigma. WHY is having a rounder belly offensive, but being tall / short isn’t? Caitlin preaches body acceptance, but was obviously offended that reader(s) thought she could be pregnant again.

          • Caitlin February 16, 2013, 12:50 pm

            No. I was not offended that she thought I was pregnant. I was offended that she was being a snarky troll.

    • Kristy @ Kristy's Health Revolution February 15, 2013, 10:24 am

      Ew, go away.

      • debbra February 15, 2013, 10:32 am

        I second that “ew, go away”. No negative, nasty people are allowed here.

      • Kath February 15, 2013, 10:34 am

        Ew go away sums up my thoughts exactly.

        • Kristen February 15, 2013, 10:28 pm

          I third that “ew, go away” you rock Caitlin!!

    • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 10:33 am

      oh and PS – being completely cool with posting photos of yourself that are not 100% flattering = having a good body image. feeling the need to body snark on other women = those are all your own issues.

      • Stephanie February 15, 2013, 6:32 pm

        Doesn’t every person in the world know that even if someone is walking around with a bowling ball size bump and a shirt that says “eating for two” that it is NEVER ok to ask if someone is pregnant. EVER.

        • Sarah February 15, 2013, 11:05 pm

          Um, what? If someone is walking around with a bowling ball size bump and a shirt that says “eating for two” they’re screaming for attention and if you DON’T ask them if they’re pregnant they’re probably insulted.

          • Stephanie February 16, 2013, 12:43 pm

            Clearly being sarcastic genius. Point is never comment on a womans belly in terms of it looking pregnant unless she is wearing an ‘Im pregnant!’ sign.

      • Kristin February 16, 2013, 5:41 pm

        EXACTLY!!!! Seriously i look pregnant EVERY TIME after I eat!!! lol…Caitlin you are doing amazing!!! U just had a baby, eat great and exercise!!!! People seriously never cease to amaze me! Just because you are a blogger doesnt mean you are not a real person with feelings!

    • Katie February 15, 2013, 10:35 am

      Wow! Way to spread the love!

    • jamie February 15, 2013, 10:37 am

      Seriously? I don’t think Cat had any ill intent. I assumed it was an old photo as well. It looks like a bump to me. If we’re all beautiful and you love your body, you wouldn’t care how others perceive it. Calling her crappy is seemingly against everything you preach.

      • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 10:38 am

        naw – you’re way too nice. she was not being a nice person.

        i thought saying ‘crappy’ was generous. 😉

        • Tricia February 15, 2013, 9:39 pm

          I agree, Caitlin! I can’t believe people are being hard on you for this. The comment was rude. Period.

        • Tricia February 15, 2013, 9:42 pm

          I agree with you, Caitlin! I can’t believe people are being hard on you for this. The “my, my” comment was rude. Period.

      • Sherri February 15, 2013, 10:39 am

        Alright genius, let’s regroup when someone asks you if you’re pregnant when you’re not.

        • KAS February 15, 2013, 10:42 am

          I got offered a subway seat twice in one day about four months postpartum. Went home, took a hard look in the mirror, and realized the dress I was wearing had to GO. Too bad, it was cute otherwise, but after baby, it was not flattering anymore. If you’re wearing stuff that makes you look pregnant, people might suspect you are pregnant. I don’t think that makes them “crappy”.

          • Sherri February 15, 2013, 10:57 am

            I do! Especially since (assuming cat has any common sense) she should know that if Caitlin was expecting, she would announce her news when she was ready, not in the middle of a valentine’s day post for someone to point out in the comment section.

      • Karen February 15, 2013, 1:52 pm

        I agree with Jamie, I too assumed it was either an old photo or you were announcing a second because it does look like a baby bump. I don’t think she meant it in a mean way either! I think your reaction was a little unfair, this is a public forum where you have chosen to post your intimidate details of your life often through pictures. Perhaps she was just really asking if you were pregnant again..

        • Alison February 15, 2013, 2:40 pm

          I guess it could have been a friendlier comment, but I would stop well short of considering it nasty (or crappy). I would love to go through one day of work where the worst thing someone said to me was “my my”…

    • DadHTP February 15, 2013, 10:39 am

      oooh, snap!

      • Whitney February 15, 2013, 10:47 am

        Good for you Caitlin for publishing an “unflattering” photo although I don’t think it is!! We don’t always see the real side of bloggers and it sometimes makes the readers not feel up to par. Glad you had a great V-Day!! 🙂

    • Stephanie February 15, 2013, 11:20 am

      My favorite part of this? It’s on an Operation Beautiful photo.

      Ill-intent or not, I think everyone knows that type of question can be very touchy…especially when phrased as it was here.

      Caitlin, I hope you had a Happy Valentine’s Day and keep doing what you’re doing 🙂

  • Kristy @ Kristy's Health Revolution February 15, 2013, 10:23 am

    Awww, this made me smile. Sounds like you had a truly excellent V-day!

  • Orla February 15, 2013, 10:30 am

    And Queue my Tofu cravings.
    Looks like a wonderful day.

    🙂

  • Rachel February 15, 2013, 10:30 am

    We loved playing with you guys at DP yesterday!! Glad to have met so many nice mommies and babies!

  • Lindsey February 15, 2013, 10:43 am

    Caitlin – I just love you for your response to cat. Way to be. HA! And you look great, by the way.

    Looks like you had a great Valentine’s Day!

  • Jennifer February 15, 2013, 10:45 am

    I don’t think Cat meant it negatively. You’re posing in that picture like a lot of pregnancy bloggers pose with the sideways shot in the mirror. Most of your other OB mirror-shots are straight on. I can get being upset by the question though, I’m sure it doesn’t feel good to hear when you aren’t pregnant. But I don’t think she meant it that way. :/

    • Whitney February 15, 2013, 10:52 am

      I’m sorry but Cat’s comment wasn’t even necessary any way you spin it!! Why do women continually tear down women about their looks? It’s NO wonder so many women struggle with eating disorders and body issues.

      • Heather February 15, 2013, 11:07 am

        You do realize that Caitlin was basically tearing down the way other women look by saying that having a slight pooch/looking early-pregnancy when you aren’t is so “crappy”, right? She’s basically saying that that is a horrible thing to call someone…when there are PLENTY of women that look like that in the world. Let’s support ALL body types, not just the skinny ones.

        • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 11:11 am

          NO – I was NOT saying that, Heather. I was saying that she is crappy for body snarking on someone else. Perhaps I could’ve said it better.

          • Katie February 15, 2013, 12:22 pm

            It is ALWAYS rude to comment on peoples bodies, especially when shrouded in a condescending tone (“my, my”), and Cat should be encouraged to never comment here again.

            Caitlin – you are a model for all women, keep doing what you’re doing and don’t let the nasty people of the world get you down.

          • Jessica February 16, 2013, 9:27 am

            nope, caitlin- the way you said it made perfect sense to me; seems like people are grasping at straws to blame you for highlighting crappy comments…cause thats what they are…crappy. as i said, since when does no six pack=pregnancy?

  • Amber @ Busy, Bold, Blessed February 15, 2013, 10:46 am

    Glad you had a wonderful vday. I love bowling! Such a fun date night 🙂

  • Sarah @ Yogi in Action February 15, 2013, 10:47 am

    Sounds like a great day! I love that you guys went bowling- very retro!

  • Reenie February 15, 2013, 10:52 am

    “… text from DadHTP at 8 PM that stated: “Baby is alive and asleep.” That cracked me up!! HA!! Glad you had a nite out w/hubby =)

  • Lisa February 15, 2013, 10:56 am

    Well this is interesting, because I literally just said DAMN “how good does Caitlin from HTP look?” to my co -worker. We both agreed that your thighs got so small! Not that they were ever big. Either way, I didnt even notice the picture because I was busy reading the beautiful note! Have a great weekend.

    • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 10:59 am

      Thank you for the sweet compliment. Have a great weekend, too!

    • S February 15, 2013, 6:32 pm

      Why is it a compliment to say that a woman’s thighs are “small” (and presumably an insult to imply that they were ever “big”)? I’m not snarking, it’s a genuine question. Caitlin I think it’s great that you are so open to discussing body image on your blog and I think this issue is an important part of the disussion.

      • Crystal February 15, 2013, 7:56 pm

        I agree with S. If we’re not allowed to comment asking if someone is pregnant why are we allowed to say OMG TINY THIGHS! What if they’re secretly battling an eating disorder or are sick or something? That could be way more hurtful than the pregnancy comment.

      • Heather February 15, 2013, 11:35 pm

        I agree with S. These kinds of ‘compliments’ only further the implication that skinny=better/more desirable. I think that allowing these kinds of discussions can be incredibly helpful in encouraging healthier attitudes about body image by addressing questions like S mentioned above.

  • Leah February 15, 2013, 10:59 am

    The jeans look really nice that you are wearing in the pic with your friends
    Where are they from???

    Glad you had a nice vday!

    • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 11:00 am

      Oh man, I got them at Marshall’s like three years ago. They are an off brand. Thanks!

  • Becky February 15, 2013, 11:03 am

    Ahhh! That scares me to let Henry play with the chip clips…what if he opened it and caught his tounge!?
    And BTW, you have totes got me craving thai food 24/7. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

    • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 11:10 am

      He is definitely not strong enough!

    • Anna February 16, 2013, 11:37 pm

      My 3-year-old still can’t open the chip clips 🙂

  • Andi February 15, 2013, 11:03 am

    The internet is filled with trolls who just like to tear people down, one un-thoughtful comment at a time. I think you look fantastic! And not only do you look fantastic, you’re strong- you’ve completed a half marathon and a sprint tri since you’ve given birth. Nuts to everyone who only judge others on their physical appearance. Keep doing what you’re doing 🙂

    On another note, I’m curious about the copyright on your photo of you and Henry. Is healthyslicleoflife a new venture?

    • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 11:13 am

      Oh no! It’s Britney’s blog – those are her pics and I just wanted to credit her properly. You should check it out – she’s a great blogger. http://www.ahealthysliceoflife.com/

  • Kendra @ My Full-Thyme Life February 15, 2013, 11:14 am

    Okay, this baby bump stuff has been entertaining. But can we just hold the phone for a moment and comment on how much I love DadHTP for saying, “oooh, snap!” 🙂 He has just gone up even more cool notches in my book and he was already pretty far up! 😉

    You look fab, Caitlin. Besides, it is your confidence and your positive spirit that makes you so beautiful not just your body. But as we all know, haters gonna hate no matter what! Crappy, indeed.

    • Greta Broughton February 15, 2013, 12:17 pm

      I was thinking the same! Haha.

  • Katie @ Soulshine and Sassafras February 15, 2013, 11:21 am

    What a cute Valentine’s Day!

  • Amy @ Extracurricular Activities February 15, 2013, 11:32 am

    In the pic of all the moms at the play place my first thought was literally “All those moms look SO good for having such little bebes!” My, my! 😉

    Also, I tried to comment on last night’s post on my phone and kept getting redirected to the Pizza Hut website…so I ordered a pizza. Just kidding about ordering, but the first part did happen. Subliminal marketing?

    What I wanted to say was that I have the Brooks Launch shoes and LOVE them. Unfortunately they are being discontinued, but the Brooks rep who sold them to me (and looked like an Avett Brother btw) told me that the Ghost is the replacement/closest style to the Launches. So, short story long, I am planning to try those next. Glad to hear you like them!

    • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 11:36 am

      I am trying so hard to resolve this! I’m sorry.

    • Katye February 18, 2013, 4:20 pm

      Just thought I’d jump in to let you know the Launches are actually coming back! Brooks heard how many people were unhappy about them so they will be brought back. It will take about 2 seasons for the new ones to come out but there will be availability of the old colors in the coming months

  • Mari February 15, 2013, 11:49 am

    You are a beautiful woman, an excellent mother and wife, and a talented author. You put everything on the blog. I like that. People can be snarky. It is just a reflection of their jealousy, low self-esteem and the intense desire to cut people down.

    When we can be our own worst enemies, I find it sad that people need to point out the negative in others.

  • Janelle February 15, 2013, 11:53 am

    I’m not even sure where to start… but I think I want to echo the very first comment (by Allison). You were sharing a wonderful day that you had, and I’m sorry you were torn down in the process. Also, while I do think you look great, I think complimenting you on being a wonderful wife and mother and daughter and inspirational person (all of which you definitely are) is more to the point. Looks (good or bad) are just looks, and I wish we didn’t (myself included) perpetuate the culture that women are valued for their looks first and foremost.

  • Claire February 15, 2013, 11:54 am

    The discussion about the baby bump question is interesting to me. Personally, I didn’t read cat’s comment as necessarily mean-spirited. I know it’s hard to read intent on the Internet, but at first glance I thought the “my my” in her comment was excitement, not disdain or cattiness. Caitlin, you’ve posted many pictures pictures on the blog in the past 8 months where your belly looked very flat, so the picture you posted today did look so different (not better or worse than your other pictures, just markedly different!) and in the typical “side view” you used to photograph your pregnancy each week on the blog that I have to admit that my first thought was also “is she pregnant again?” I always follow the advice (I think Dave Barry said it?) to never ask a woman if she’s pregnant unless the baby is actually crowning. 😉 But it’s really not that unusual or unnatural to wonder if a woman is pregnant, especially if she is married and has another young child (most women who want more than one child aim for a 2-3 year age gap or less, so it wouldn’t be abnormal or unexpected for you to be trying again at this time).

    It may not be the norm for you, but people have been asking if I was pregnant since I was a young teenager. I’ve always been very distinctly apple-shaped (I remember when I was 8 years old, my mom touching my belly and saying “we need to work on that, honey!”) irregardless of what the number of the scale was or how in shape I am. Especially now, at 246 lbs and with a 14 month old, I get the question at least once a week or so. When I was younger, in my teens and twenties, it really bothered me, and definitely added to my body issues.

    But now that I’m old and wise in my mid-thirties (ha ha) I’ve completely shifted my perspective, especially since I’ve now had a child. I love my body; I’ve spent years now following and embracing a “health at every size” perspective that has done wonders for my self-esteem, self-worth and health. I love my body for what it can do (run miles and miles every week, survive over 60 hours of unmedicated labor, go for over a year without a full night’s sleep, sustain and feed my baby girl for over 9 months of pregnancy and 14 months (so far!) of breastfeeding) and I love taking good care of it, despite its socially unaccepted size and shape. 🙂

    People love babies, they love pregnancy; it is a happy and joyous occasion in life. I loved talking about my pregnancy with strangers when I was hugely pregnant, and about my baby after I gave birth. Obviously one should never comment on another person’s body, but asking if someone is pregnant isn’t body snark. It’s one person trying to connect with another over a happy and life-affirming event. Now, when someone asks if I am pregnant, I just smile and say no. I don’t think less of them, or me.

    I think this post also is an interesting take on another’s experience with the question: http://www.alreadypretty.com/2013/02/im-not-pregnant-im-fat.html

    • Rachel February 15, 2013, 12:19 pm

      You have the response of a person with a healthy body image. I admire you.

      • Claire February 15, 2013, 1:35 pm

        Ha, thanks! To be honest, looking back, I can’t believe how many years I wasted worrying about what people thought about me. In my honest opinion, if you spend that much time and effort worrying about your appearance and what people say/think/whatever about how you look, it’s really just superficiality and narcissism (and I say that as someone who spent over a decade obsessing over all of that!).

        If the worst thing that happens to me in a day is having someone ask if I’m pregnant, MAN I have an easy life. 🙂 I am a healthy, able-bodied middle class white woman in a first world country, with a decent job and loving family and friends. It would be selfish to expend a huge amount of time and effort worrying about what other people think of my physical appearance.

        • Anya February 15, 2013, 4:41 pm

          Wow Claire, I have to second Rachel and say you are in inspiration. Way to keep things in perspective.

          Caitlin take note, Claire would have handled this situation (that wasn’t even hers) MUCH better than the name-calling and approving comments for no other reason than having fans rush to tell you how skinny you are. No offense but if you really did have the good body image you hold in such high esteem you wouldn’t have let this ruin your morning– it would have been no big deal and definitely not worthy of yelling troll and calling someone crappy. I am reminded of how Emily from Daily Garnish was once asked months ago in the comments if she was pregnant again and all she said was something like “haha no definitely not but if people are thinking I look pregnant maybe I’ll retire this shirt :)” THAT is good body image.

          • helen February 15, 2013, 7:29 pm

            I agree with all of this. Althought I dont think its polite to ask someone if they are pregnant, I too thought of it when I saw that picture. Honestly, we all have unique bodies and I agree with Claire that ppl get excited about pregnancy especially since you recently started a family.

            This is my problem… you talk about the importance of having good body image but when someone makes an off handed comment about possibly being preggers, you call them out immaturely and rally all your friends to reassure you of how skinny you are. If you truly had good body image I think a comment like that would not affect you so poorly.

            I remember Emily handled that really well, its really not that big of a deal…

      • Beth February 15, 2013, 4:33 pm

        I agree with Rachel. I think you would enjoy this website: http://www.beautyredefined.net

  • Amanda February 15, 2013, 12:18 pm

    Sounds like such a perfect V day!!!! And you have m cravin Thai now, yummmmmmm!!

  • Becky February 15, 2013, 12:28 pm

    also, you never responded if you were/weren’t preggers… soooooooooooo ;)?

    • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 12:30 pm

      heheh not pregnant! are you kidding me?!?! i just began to sleep again!

  • Haley @ fullnfit February 15, 2013, 12:28 pm

    Seems like you had a LOVE-FILLED day! I want to go to TJ’s ASAP to find that Moscato. Cheers!

  • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 1:11 pm

    That photo of you and Henry sitting by the aquarium is adorable!

    I’ve seen those beans in a jar at Tj’s- so they’re already in that sauce?? Sounds great. And thanks for the wine recommendation.

  • Katie @ Peace Love & Oats February 15, 2013, 1:18 pm

    Now that IS a great Valentine’s Day! And that Discovery place looks pretty fun. It’s great that Henry can play with kids that are a little older, I feel like that has to help with development, especially wanting to physically chase after them and join in on the fun! (this is from my single, childless point of view…).

  • Reshma February 15, 2013, 2:15 pm

    Haters are gonna hate, but I think you look awesome! More importantly, you seem like a great mom and smart lady. Go on with your badass self.
    🙂

    • Gina (fitnessista) February 15, 2013, 6:51 pm

      i like this a lot 🙂
      and preach- caitlin is a smart lady, a great mom and has an awesome bod

  • hey_girl February 15, 2013, 2:17 pm

    “My My” ?? come on- that’s trolling. It’s totally rude and I can’t see how someone can pretend Cat probably didn’t mean to be mean. She couldn’t have honestly been asking that, because who would even do that in the comments of a non related post? Let the blogger (and anyone, really) tell any future news of that sort she’s ready because miscarriage is super common and telling loved ones your baby died is shitty enough can’t imagine telling the internet.

  • Cindy February 15, 2013, 2:27 pm

    It looks like you had an amazing Valentine’s day! 🙂

    On an unrelated note, I think I need to try Moscato!

  • Kris February 15, 2013, 2:31 pm

    I had a baby just 2 weeks before you and have loved following your blog. You look beautiful. Don’t let the haters and trolls get you down. Thanks for publishing Cat’s comment. It’s interesting to read the responses. Keep doing your thing lady!

  • Brooke February 15, 2013, 2:57 pm

    Cat’s comment is completely unacceptable! I’m just so tired of women being negative and critical towards each other. Just hold your head up high and know that you are truly a role model to others. You have always looked abolutely beautiful and you are still glowing! I know that Cat is just jealous of your beauty inside and out. Here’s a story that I would like to share with you.

    In January I was 15 weeks pregnant and decided to tell some of my coworkers. I was really excited to announce my secret to everyone. Well, most of the women were very happy and then one lady (whose daughter was 24 weeks pregnant) said, “Good, I’m excited to see you get fat and ugly in the next couple of months.” I was completely shocked and didn’t even know what to say at that point. I just couldn’t even believe that someone could be so hateful.

    • Lindsay February 15, 2013, 3:43 pm

      I said it above, but I’m just wondering – why is potentially looking pregnant when you aren’t considered such a terrible thing?? I really do not understand how thinking someone MIGHT be growing a baby is “negative” and “critical”. All that sort of thinking does is continue to perpetuate the ideology that being anything other than a twig is bad.

  • Erika February 15, 2013, 3:39 pm

    While I’m sure Cat’s comment wasn’t intentionally mean…I am not even sure how I would respond to something like that! “Nope, that’s just my stomach!” I am 10 weeks pregnant right now, but I’ve always had a bit of a pooch. I lost 60 pounds 2 years ago and have kept it off, but the pooch remains! Regardless of Crossfit/abs classes/etc.

    I think we should all just be kind about our bodies and other people’s, and follow a good rule of thumb…unless someone tells you they are pregnant, assume they aren’t and don’t ask! LOL. Keep doing you, Caitlin, thank you for sharing your Valentine’s Day with us 🙂

    • Clare February 15, 2013, 6:43 pm

      Exactly! You should just never ask. It’s not polite.

      Caitlin, your (refreshingly real) response is part of what I like so much about your blog.
      You look great and don’t you take an ounce of Cat’s passive-aggressive nonsense to heart. And besides, everyone knows that postpartum tummies are a little more, um, dynamic than their pre-pregnancy counterparts. It doesn’t matter how many sit-ups you do, or how far you run…even the tautest, flattest, fittest post-baby tum can yield to a food baby, pre-menstrual bloat, too much diet coke…

  • Angela February 15, 2013, 4:16 pm

    Caitlin you are gorgeous and I love your authenticity on the blog. That’s all I will say about this great debate. 🙂 what a romantic little valentines day you guys had!!! So cute to have dinner at his office. That moscato looks so delish! And only $5.99 what a steal! I will have to check it out. Did DadHTP find a house?

  • Hope February 15, 2013, 4:35 pm

    So THAT’S why you have two forks in your purse. LMAO.

  • Megan February 15, 2013, 5:04 pm

    Whether a question like that is fair or not, I still think the pressure to look perfect immediately following having a baby is reaching insane levels, and if we don’t instantly look like we did pre-baby, it is really focused on by others. I remember attending a party a month after delivering my twins, and a friend said to me, “Are you sure the doctor didn’t leave one baby in there?” while staring at my stomach. Um, wow.

  • Jenny February 15, 2013, 5:10 pm

    I knew I saw your haircut leaving park lanes last night!

    • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 6:51 pm

      Hahah I wish you had said hi!

  • Katie @ Talk Less, Say More February 15, 2013, 5:31 pm

    I love how you had your Valentine’s dinner at the office with bubbly! Do what you gotta do to get that time alone together. Glad you guys had a good evening. 🙂

  • Cecilia @MommiesRUn February 15, 2013, 5:31 pm

    Looks like a great V Day! I love your Operation Beautiful. It’s a great message to send and I love those post-its. Do you ever spread the post-its around? I’d love to help spread the love 🙂

    • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 6:50 pm

      I don’t sell the branded ones but you can easily get them made on zazzle or a similar site! Thanks 🙂

  • Beth @ Running with the Sunrise February 15, 2013, 6:12 pm

    I love the last photo! Singles always complain about Valentine’s Day and that it focuses too much on couples, but I think it’s a great day to focus on loving yourself. It looks like you had a great day celebrating with your loved ones.

  • Amanda Darby February 15, 2013, 6:37 pm

    Yikes, tough day on the blog. It is soo popular on Facebook, Twitter, and blogs to post pics of pregnant bellies, and to her you looked pregnant, so I could see why Cat thought to ask if you were announcing something big with this pic. Someone once said to me you should never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless she is crowning. Good advice I’d say. You always look lovely and I love your Operation Beautiful movement. Keep on, keepin on.

  • Kermit February 15, 2013, 7:25 pm

    I’m just sending love , deep breaths and let it go , mwah x

  • nic February 15, 2013, 7:37 pm

    How come you aren’t wearing your engagement or wedding ring??

    • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 11:22 pm

      Because that’s my right hand…

      • Jessica February 16, 2013, 9:30 am

        lol. gosh people always want a scandal huh? call Star magazine!

  • Joan February 15, 2013, 9:18 pm

    Sad that this is what so many readers took from this post! I was more focused on the written content of the post….not checking out your body! Loved your recap, sounds like a great first v day with your boy 🙂

  • Mia February 15, 2013, 9:20 pm

    So this is actually my first time commenting. I often want to comment, but this is the first time i felt compelled too. Whether or not the pregnant comment was ill intended or not, it did come off sounding snarky and rude. I have a gastrointestinal condition which causes severe distention in my stomach, causing me to look pregnant at times. And people many times have asked me if i was. I also have fertility issues, and have suffered through miscarriages. So when someone asks me if i’m pregnant it hurts me. It makes me feel insecure about my looks, and it feels crushing to my soul. Is this the case with Caitlin, well no, that we know of. But that’s just it, not that we know of. We don’t know what others are going through, and we need to remember that when we talk to others. On a blog, or in person. We need to remember to take a second and think about what we say to others, and how we say it. Especially when we’re making (often unnecessary) comments on each others bodies. This doesn’t not mean that i think there’s a right or wrong body type. This does not mean i think that having a more rounded stomach is bad. And i don’t think that this is what Caitlin was saying in any of her responses. Nor do it think her being hurt by this means she has a bad body image/self esteem etc. And i think her blog has shown that. Hopefully everyone can have a takeaway here of thinking before we speak, and being kind with our words.

    • Caitlin February 15, 2013, 11:21 pm

      I am so sorry about your fertility issues. E-hugs! 🙁

  • Stephanie Clement February 15, 2013, 10:17 pm

    Anya- agreed! I wish you would’ve taken the high road on this one…..since, honestly, its just not that hard. Also- you DO look pregnant in the picture…whether it be angle or the way your blouse was tucked, it’s hard to deny. I’m sorry you were feeling sour this morning, but like Anya, agreed.

  • Carin February 16, 2013, 12:00 am

    Is “cat” a pseudonym – relating to being catty? Why not just go with “bitch”?

    Don’t forget, this is someone’s real life. Just because it’s packaged up prettily on a nice blog, with entertaining narrative and interesting photos, we shouldn’t forget that it’s a privilege to have an insight into Caitlin’s world and have the benefit of her thoughts and experiences. It’s very easy to leave snarky comments and I’m definitely one of the worst offenders for being uber sarcastic sometimes (hope you know it’s never meant in the wrong way, C – it’s just a Brit thing!) but it’s also pretty easy to work out what the real gist is. Using “my my”, only commenting on physical appearance rather than anything else and trying to disguise it by asking a ridiculous question about the date of the pic – when it’s part of a journal covering a day’s activities – is just rude.

    Caitlin has every right to respond to comments by using the term “crappy”, or any other wording she likes – personally, I’d go for something stronger! She certainly doesn’t only “like” comments that “laud” her – I’ve seen balanced, careful responses to criticism and queries and really don’t think that she’s looking for praise or validation. HTP is a great positive forum, and should be acknowledged as a great daily resource for friendship, humour and support. If it’s not working for Anya et al, then just don’t bother – it’s not required reading! I don’t know what people are trying to achieve by making nasty comments or dramatic exits.

    BTW, some of us have looked “prego” for 20+ years, but so what? It’s not about the size your tummy appears either front-on or twisted, reversed, in a quick phone snapshot; it’s about attitude, confidence and positivity. Caitlin, thanks for having these attributes, for being honest when you’re not feeling them 100% and for helping the rest of us to work out how to feel good about ourselves. Ta, love!

    • Caitlin February 16, 2013, 9:07 am

      Thanks, Carin.

      • Anya February 18, 2013, 5:18 pm

        Logging on to see if my comment got moderated or posted and wow, didn’t even expect to se people noticed it :p Carin, the point is exactly as you say… SO WHAT?! What is SO wrong with looking a little prego that an offhand comment is enough to make you rally the troops. I don’t think there any anything wrong with moderating comments that you feel are mean spirited. But to allow a comment through that you perceive as criticizing your physique just so that you can release the hounds (you, et al) on your so-called troll is in my very humble opinion silly, immmature, and speaks volumes on your self esteem and body confidence.

        And for goodness sake, the old “if you don’t like it don’t read” is such and old and tired arguement. I think my ears are bleeding from hearing this…. This is a public forum, lead by Caitlin, about her life, which I enjoyed frequenting. The idea that there can be no discourse on a public blog and anyone with a dissenting opinion is a hater that should leave IMMEDIATELY is ludicrous and the main reason why I don’t think I will be reading any longer, NOT because I don’t like the blog. Can you find an analogy for anything you do in real life? Do you quite your job because you don’t agree a few things your boss or coworkers say? Do you stop running/reading/whatever you do for fun because you diagree with one person in your hobby group? I dunno, maybe you do, but that’s not how the adult world operates in my experience…. *off my soap box* I bid you all adieu and peace in your journeys 😉

        • Anya February 18, 2013, 5:20 pm

          Oops sorry for the typos, stupid autocorrect!!

  • Jen February 16, 2013, 2:27 am

    Meh, I look like that whenever I eat a big meal. Whatever. Doesn’t mean you’re fat. You look great.

  • Tania February 16, 2013, 2:48 am

    Hi Caitlyn,
    I also thought that this is either an old picture if you being pregnant, or that it is the way you announce second pregnancy and I thought, wow isnt that great if she is, two babies so quickly…No bad feelings at all…And I was so suprized when I read the first comments and saw how offended you were from that question.
    Than I put myself on your place, asking not pregnant woman if she is, I would be offended too…
    English is not my maternal language so I dont really understant how exactly “my, my” might sound, so…I just want to tell you, as a mother too, that you really look great, and all that sport really pays off…
    What I wanted to say is that sometimes people say offensive things, but not really meaning them.

  • kala February 16, 2013, 1:09 pm

    I’ve read this whole feed and was not going to comment until I saw that last comment from Caitlin herself. There is a difference between name calling and defending yourself. Calling someone a snarky troll is name calling. And clearly you were upset she asked if you were pregnant, because you allowed the comment to come through just so people “could see how crappy” the commenter was being. You have a public website, and not to be rude, but I read the comments on this post just to see if someone asked you if you were pregnant, because I assumed you were from that picture. There is nothing wrong with that, I was excited for you, as I’m assuming most of the commenters on this post were. Nothing but love for you, the website is great and I read it daily, but you have an entire company and books devoted to healthy body image in tweens and adults and these books are also against name calling, so next time someone posts something you view as negative, think twice about calling them crappy and a snarky troll.

  • Calla February 16, 2013, 1:10 pm

    Hi Caitlin,

    I’ve been a reader of yours for years and I hate to beat a dead horse here, but I was really bothered by your response to Cat the other day. I fully agree with you that her comment was “crappy” (I thought it was common decency not to ask women if they’re pregnant based on your perception of their appearances!) – what upset me was that you said she herself was “crappy”. I fully don’t intend this as an insult to you, and I hope that most of the time you’re able to distinguish between a crappy comment and an overall crappy person.

  • MaryBe February 16, 2013, 1:17 pm

    I have been reading your blog a long long time. So long that I can’t even remember when I first started! I’ve made submissions to Operation Beautiful too. So I am really surprised at this mixed message you are sending. So, if I have a slight ‘baby belly’ aka chubby then I’m not beautiful? But if I have ‘skinny thighs’ and a ‘flat belly’ etc then I am? This is totally the opposite of what you always say. You had a chance to practice what you preach and say ” I am awesome just the way I am” but now you made it seem like being yourself is only okay if you’re skinny. Maybe next time you should do a Naked Belly Project instead of a Naked Face Project.

  • Kris February 16, 2013, 9:03 pm

    Geez. Just because Caitlin founded Operation Beautiful, has a successful blog, volunteers, mothers an infant and three pets, works, writes, travels and gives motivational speeches doesn’t mean she isn’t human, although she’s clearly a superwoman. I took Cat’s comment to be mean-spirited. My, my wasn’t kind the way she used it. Is Caitlin not supposed to have an emotional response? And seriously, has no one ever seen a post-partum belly? In the course of a day, post-partum or not, we women probably all have our prego-looking moments. Come on ladies, let’s support each other and Caitlin!

  • Hillary February 16, 2013, 9:28 pm

    I’m sorry but asking what is going on in someone else’s uterus is NEVER appropriate and can be called out as crappy. You NEVER know what’s going on in someone’s personal life what if they suffered a recent loss? What’s if they have a tumor (happened to a friend true story) what if they had too much burrito one day? No one should ever have to account for why their waist line looks different in one photo as opposed to another.

  • Lauren February 22, 2013, 9:04 pm

    Girls are so mean to each other. It makes me want to cry.

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