So, just about a hundred people have sent me a link to the hysterical site called Dog Shaming. And every email said, ‘Maggie needs to be on this site.’ Oh, she does. But truthfully, so does James – he just flies under the radar of general ridiculousness while M soars above it.
So if Maggie and James were on Dog Shaming, here is what they would say:
What would your pup say if being publicly shamed?
August 28, 2012, 9:23 am
August 28, 2012, 9:30 am
Danielle –
Have you ever seen any of the Nina Ottoson toys? I highly recommend the “Dog spinny” or the “Tornado” toy.
http://www.amazon.com/Company-Animals-Ottosson-Interactive-Plastic/dp/B001KZ5EZU
August 28, 2012, 9:26 am
Toffee (the chihueagle) would say: “I like to grab used tampons out of the garbage”
and..
Riley (JRT) would say: “…and I like to swallow them whole & vomit them 3 days later”
(okay this only happened once but it was the longest three days ever. If I didn’t see Riley swallow the whole thing I would never have known. He was still eating/drinking/pooping fine)
August 28, 2012, 9:27 am
or…
Toffee would say: “I like to lick the anal gland fluid leak from my butt and then kiss my parents”
August 28, 2012, 9:34 am
My dog’s would say:
“I can’t figure out how to get the ball when you throw it on the couch.”
…or
““I’m big on the internet.”
August 28, 2012, 9:35 am
My JRT would say “I know I can get away with anything since I’m so cute.” Nothing vulgar. 🙂
August 28, 2012, 9:38 am
Hahahhahha! I have never heard of that site before but I have now found my entertainment for the day, thanks to you, Caitlin! 🙂
August 28, 2012, 9:42 am
Buffy the Labradoodle would say “When I get excited, a poop nugget falls out sometimes!” or “I like to poop on the hallway rug after going outside!”
Jasper the Standard Poodle would say “I like to eat socks. They sit in my stomach for a few weeks and then I puke them out.” or “I once ate half a bag of marshmallows. Arf.”
August 28, 2012, 9:43 am
woodford : “I counter surfed and ate half a block of uncooked tofu”
August 28, 2012, 9:44 am
My aussie would say “I poop next to the sand box just to mess with the toddler” and my shepherd would say ” I couldn’t help myself, carpet just tastes awesome.”
August 28, 2012, 9:49 am
Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like this is kind of demeaning to animals. Would you do this to a child or someone who wasn’t able to speak for themselves? What would our animals say about us? I know it seems like fun and games, but I think we should show respect to all creatures, and publicly humiliating them (whether they’re aware or not) does not seem right.
August 28, 2012, 10:09 am
I don’t think my dogs would care if I tell the world they eat gross stuff since they (clearly) don’t have the same internalized taboos as humans do. 🙂
It’s like the LolCat that says “What? I’s cat! I’d do it again!” (Totally applies to dogs too!) 🙂
August 28, 2012, 10:20 am
OMG this made me laugh so hard! Please tell me you aren’t serious Jen!
August 28, 2012, 10:43 am
Gotta have a sense of humour Jen. Dogs are goofy and easily lovable creatures creatures. My dogs make me laugh every day!
August 28, 2012, 11:19 am
No, I wasn’t joking and apparently I’m not the only one who feels this way. http://www.prweb.com/releases/dog-shaming/08/prweb9842378.htm
August 28, 2012, 6:11 pm
Only a serious pet lover would take the time to do this. The bad owners have their dogs locked outside and don’t consider these things endearing!
August 28, 2012, 11:46 am
The more I think about it, the more I think it’s also kind of nice to know that I’m not alone in owning and loving dogs who sometimes misbehave in really hilariously disgusting ways. I think it’s more about owners bonding over these incidents than any ill-will directed at the dogs.
August 28, 2012, 12:12 pm
Seriously?? To me the site is full of people who love their pets, no matter how gross or silly they can be! I think it’s cute and think people need to relax a bit.
August 28, 2012, 4:23 pm
I agree with Jen here to an extent.
Caitlin’s examples here are cute and funny because we know the back story but some of the bad behavior on Dog Shaming can be attributed to ignorant/lazy/careless owners. To be fair, a lot of what’s posted is just dogs eating gross stuff, which is perfectly natural and totally funny.
August 28, 2012, 8:07 pm
Even though Jen dissed me the other day for a comment I made, I have to say I agree with her. 🙂 I don’t think this is funny. Especially the comment Maggie “allegedly” made about Henry. If you wrote this for Maggie, then obviously you think she is possibly thinking this about Henry. And if that is true, the outcome could be devastating. For both Henry and Maggie.
August 28, 2012, 9:49 am
Dog #1, Toby: “If I don’t look you in the eye, maybe you won’t notice a loaf of bread is mising from the counter.”
Dog #2, Gordie: “I pee on everything everywhere because I am King of the World.”
August 28, 2012, 9:50 am
Hilarious! And suddenly I’m feeling better about my own dog & her frequent misbehaviors… 🙂
August 28, 2012, 10:59 am
True that! 🙂
August 28, 2012, 9:58 am
I love that website! Let’s see, Eloise would probably say “I try to sneak cat poop out of the litter box when no one is looking” or “I love when Mom forgets to put her shoes away because it gives me something to chew on at night”.
August 28, 2012, 10:06 am
Thank you SO much for the laugh.
I love your dogs.
August 28, 2012, 10:07 am
Mine would say:
The cat loves the way my butt smells.
I feast on kitty litter and bathroom trash.
When the cat throws up in the night, I quickly eat it.
August 28, 2012, 11:47 am
Another one:
I’ll wait until you’re having a conversation with your new neighbor to start pooping out a piece of floss.
August 28, 2012, 12:10 pm
Oh gosh that last one bahahahah
And what is with dogs eating cat poop?? I don’t have a dog, but have several friends with dogs and cats and they all complain about it. So gross!!
August 28, 2012, 1:55 pm
Out of the litter box they call it Feline-Fererro-Rocher LOL
August 28, 2012, 2:04 pm
I’ve heard my vet refer to them as “kitty eclairs.”
August 28, 2012, 10:14 am
Just laughed out loud- thanks for that!
August 28, 2012, 10:36 am
Haha. I love reading that site, and already showed DH the pic of Maggie in the bouncy! Spook (IG) would say “I play with my winky while my parents are eating dinner — gotta keep myself entertained!”.
August 28, 2012, 10:45 am
LOL, love Maggie & James’! I have no idea what my dog’s would say.
Has Maggie tried the bouncy seat while it’s on and bouncing?
August 28, 2012, 10:46 am
GROSSS!!! I love Maggie! She’s so awesome!
August 28, 2012, 10:50 am
Oh my gosh! You need to send these in!!! So funny!!!!!
August 28, 2012, 10:58 am
So funny! And such an odd coincidence that I just discovered that site last night 😉
August 28, 2012, 10:58 am
I lull you into a false sense of security about your dirty underwear. Then one day I’ll eat the crotch out of them.
August 28, 2012, 11:02 am
Sammy Joe the lab says, “I like to eat my food (LOUDLY!) at 2am and then proceed to lick myself clean beside my mommy and daddy! My mommy gets mad.” He also says, “Rules are for punks!” lol
August 28, 2012, 11:08 am
Ahahah this is so funny! I wouldn’t be able to get my dog to sit still next to a piece of paper without ripping it apart for more than 1 second! Mine would say ” I pee on everything I can get my little weener on, because I rule ALL”
LOL
August 28, 2012, 11:52 am
Thank you. This was the best way to start my work day 🙂
August 28, 2012, 12:08 pm
The only thing I’d change is in the parenthesis on the last one, since James is saying it, it should say “(yumm!)”, which is SO ew!
August 28, 2012, 12:22 pm
THIS IS THE BEST POST EVER. I love Maggie (and James!, but esp Maggie). This post totally made my day. Thanks for sharing!
August 28, 2012, 12:39 pm
I love this! That website had my crying (from laughter, of course) the first time I saw it. And I’ve told everyone I know who owns a dog that they need to see it. But seriously, that photo of Maggie in Henry’s bouncy chair is just awesome–look at her own it! This just made my rainy day about ten times better. Thanks for sharing!
August 28, 2012, 12:42 pm
Hahahahaha I love these! I hope you had fun making them, it looks like it!
August 28, 2012, 1:00 pm
“I have sex with the cat.”
And the cat’s would say, “I like it.”
August 28, 2012, 1:20 pm
i just spit out my water laughing so hard.
August 28, 2012, 7:13 pm
HAHAHA!
August 28, 2012, 1:22 pm
My male Aussie shepherd Lando would say “I enjoy being suckled on by Lobot (one of the cats)”.
August 28, 2012, 1:29 pm
Charlie the Pomeranian would say “I can’t help but eat the poopsicles in the wintertime…they just taste so good” and Casey the Pomeranian would say “I will whine relentlessly at you when you are eating people food but I’ll turn my nose up at my own food”. He’s 16 so he pretty much gets whatever he wants now hah 🙂
August 28, 2012, 1:52 pm
Lol, “bounce THIS!” Love it. My childhood dog Trippy would have said, “Everyone thinks I’m dumb because I failed Obedient School twice. I just like being on vacation!” It’s true, poor Trippy never did pass Obedient School, but I was always convinced it was because he had such a good time running around on the farm and playing with the other dogs while he was there.
August 28, 2012, 2:01 pm
My family dog’s sign would probably say, “I’m convinced I’m actually my owner’s husband, and that other guy is just my professional walker.”
We only have domestic rats, so I guess it’s time for some rat shaming:
Ewan: “I chewed my mom’s leather Coach bag and stole her Godiva chocolates.”
August 28, 2012, 2:17 pm
This post definitely just made my day – I don’t have a dog, but hoping to get one in the future!
August 28, 2012, 2:30 pm
My Freddie would say: “If I give you puppy eyes will you give me some of your food?” He is obsessed with anything we eat and begs for anything from tofu to courgettes haha
August 28, 2012, 2:46 pm
“I like my paws on the bed and leave wet spots”
“I eat the peanut butter sandwich off the table and blame my human brother”
August 28, 2012, 2:46 pm
Lick, not like
August 28, 2012, 2:51 pm
My big dog would say that “I secretly get on their bed when they aren’t home and torture the puppy who can’t get out of her carrier.”
The puppy would say, “I eat poop, rocks and sticks when I am outside, I graze like a cattle and my parents hate it because I eventually puke it all up!”
LOL!!!!
August 28, 2012, 3:35 pm
This story and these comments are TOOOOOOOOO funny!!!! The best post ever!
August 28, 2012, 3:37 pm
I usually love all your post. This one… not so much. Should probaly have skipped comment section too. Gross! Lol! I’ll be back later though.
August 28, 2012, 4:35 pm
Hahahaha, your dogs look like actors! So serious and fitting! That`s awesome!
My dog would probably think: why does everyone know my name? (he is called dog in Hungarian and we live in Hungary so of course everyone says: aww, look at that DOG!), I`m sure sofas are safe during thunderstorms. Safer than the carpet for sure. And maybe something like: I killed that bunny a few years ago while it was sprinting through the yard (the poor thing was old and probably died before he even got close).
August 28, 2012, 6:45 pm
I love this post! So hilarious! My dog’s public shaming would probably be that she sneaks downstairs to eat the cat poop out of the kitty litter! Totally disgusting – she needs a public shaming!!
August 28, 2012, 7:06 pm
Favorite. Post. Ever.
August 28, 2012, 7:12 pm
My yellow lab would say ” OMG, you left the house for an entire nanosecond and I CAN”T TAKE IT, so I am going into the sink to pull out all of the dishes and leave at the front door so you can’t get out ever again” hahah 🙂 love him! Also not he can pull out huge serving platters and salad bowls, drag across the house with ceramic floors and never break a thing.
August 28, 2012, 7:12 pm
OH HAHAHAHAHAA This post is hilarious. I think we all pick on our dogs because we love them.
My Reagan (mini dachshund) would say: “Oops! I just fished!” Lately she’s been what my husband and I call “fishing” all over everything. Me. The carpet. The bed spread. Anal secretion is disgusting. However, Reagan is still my baby despite her occasional fishing.
My Recon (mini dachshund) would say: “Please don’t raise your voice any where around me, especially while using the F word. I’ll have to check my crotch to see if i peed a little.”
Oh and “Please put the vacuum away!! I’ll have to run and hide in my bed if you bring it out!”
I don’t know what his issue is. He’s such a big baby. He hates confrontation AND the vacuum.
August 28, 2012, 7:47 pm
Now that I have time to think about mine… “I take panty liners out of the trash and lay them out on the living room floor.” She also does the same thing one of the other dogs on that site does. “I go over/stick my nose in to other dog’s fences and wait for them to bark at me so I can bark back and not get in trouble.” And… “I love to stick my butt on your pillow when you’re not looking.” “I like to sit by your head and then fart in your face when you think I’m asleep.”
One more! “I love to roll around in coyote diarrhea and motor oil. All within the same week.” (fyi, i still can’t get the diarrhea smell out and it’s been about two months)
She’s a nightmare, but I love her nevertheless!
August 28, 2012, 9:32 pm
I’m 17 weeks pregnant and have three miniature pinschers….. this post nearly made me pee my pants!
August 28, 2012, 11:15 pm
lol i love james’s innocent face paired with the notes
August 29, 2012, 12:01 am
HAHAHAHAHA
That is all. 🙂
August 29, 2012, 12:12 pm
I want to put my pup on that site so bad. She could say so much. “I love to tear open stuffed animals. And eat all the stuffing until I can’t chew anymore.”
August 29, 2012, 1:17 pm
My corgi would say “I pee in front of the TV on the carpet everyday whether someone comes to walk me in the afternoon or not” and also “I eat mommy’s shoes, but only the black ones.”
August 30, 2012, 10:30 am
OMGee this made me laught out loud literally! haha My pup would def. qualify as being jealous of the new baby too. Silly pups!!
I love the looks on their faces. 🙂
Henderson would say “I’m too lazy to work for my food anymore, so I puke on the carpet because I get so hungry.” (He eats out of a Kong Wobbler toy and has for 2 years, because it’s the only way he doesn’t inhale 2 cups of food in 20 seconds)