Brunch

on June 24, 2012

This morning, I headed out to brunch with Nicole while the Husband manned the fort and Henry. This was my first time leaving him, but I wasnâ€™t worried at all â€“ Kristien is very baby capable. I probably trust him more than I trust myself!

Nicole and I met up at Zada Janeâ€™s, this hippiesh corner cafÃ© in the Plaza Midwood section of Charlotte. We ended up eating outside â€“ I thought we were going to fry in the sunshine but we had a nice umbrella to sit under.

It was great to see my best buddy again! Sheâ€™s visited us at the house but it was fun to go out and do something together. Since I last saw her a week ago, she chopped off six inches of her hair! Doesnâ€™t she look pretty? So adventurous (I never make impulse hair decisions â€“ my hair has pretty much looked the same for a decade).

I opted for a bunch of sides.

Gluten-free pancake of deliciousness

Home fries

â€˜Happyâ€™ egg <— I think that means organic and free range

Fruit cup

After our meal, I stopped off at a store to make a return, which ended up taking forever, and thatâ€™s when biology began to kick in. I was fine without Henry at brunch, but when I hit the three-hour mark away from him, my body began to freak out. Itâ€™s strange how much of Mommyhood is hormonal â€“ as well as emotional, of course. I could literally feel myself begin to ache for him as miss-my-baby hormones flooded my bloodstream. I wasnâ€™t consciously worried about him in the slightest; my body just wanted to see him. I do the same thing at night â€“ waking up every two hours just to stare at his little face and know that heâ€™s okay. Itâ€™s interesting to step back and realize a lot of this is a physical mechanism to ensure I protect the baby. The human body is crazy.

In summary, it was nice to get outâ€¦ but it was even nicer to come home. Smile

{ 40 comments }

Alex @ Raw Recovery June 24, 2012, 1:52 pm
I’m glad you had a nice little outing! It’s good to do things for yourself too but I’m sure that it’s also hard to be away from Henry for too long. Happy Sunday-ing!
Tanya June 24, 2012, 2:13 pm
I still feel that way 18 years later. Takes a bit longer than 3 hours now, but give me a couple days without a kid and I need to connect.
Natalie June 24, 2012, 2:34 pm
I didn’t realize it was a physical thing, to miss your baby like that. Reading about your experiences has really made me more aware of how much prep and research I should do before I go ahead with having one of my own!

Glad you got of the house for your Sunday… Henry looks cuter and cuter in every single picture you post, not sure how that is even possible. 🙂

Nat
Sana June 24, 2012, 2:38 pm
So glad you enjoyed some time with Nicole 🙂
Amber K June 24, 2012, 2:44 pm
I’m glad you got a chance to get out! And I’m sure lots of snuggles were had when you got home 🙂
Sara@RunningInPinkProject June 24, 2012, 2:50 pm
I ate there last week when I was visiting Charlotte with a friend. It was really really good. I also had a killer cup of coffee there. 🙂
Liz June 24, 2012, 3:05 pm
I love Zada Jane’s! Very cool spot and they have such unique items on the menu. Postpartum emotions are crazyballs. I went to have my C section staples removed and cried the whole time because it was no longer fun or exciting to go to the OBgyn.
- CaitlinHTP June 24, 2012, 3:33 pm
  Awwww. Damn hormones.
Allison k June 24, 2012, 3:20 pm
You are brave! I didn’t leave my baby for longer than 30 minutes until yesterday! He is seven weeks old. Ha. I also didn’t start pumping until week 6 and he doesn’t eat on a schedule, so I was always scared he would e hungry!
So, I leave yesterday and leave a bottle…and what does the baby do? Take the longest nap of his short little life, and sleeps the whole time!
- CaitlinHTP June 24, 2012, 3:32 pm
  Yes definitely – no way I could’ve left without pumping. H ate twice while I was gone! And that’s funny about your baby. 🙂 at least you know he felt safe!!! Hahah.
Amy @oveAmyx June 24, 2012, 3:25 pm
3 hours so soon is really impressive!! I think I have only left William that long once and he is 14 weeks. Everyone keeps telling me I should leave him more and that OH and I should have a date night and leave W with grandparents or similar but I just can’t bring myself to do it yet…

Amy x
- CaitlinHTP June 24, 2012, 3:31 pm
  I wouldn’t lead H with anyone but Kristien at this point for sure. And you could do date night with the baby!
  - Amy @loveAmyx June 26, 2012, 5:07 pm
    It’s not the same, your attention is always at least in part on baby or the monitor. So far if W isn’t with me then he’s with Mark {my OH}, I’m also in part too scared to deal with the politics of who I’m comfortable leaving him with other than Mark lol
Fallon June 24, 2012, 3:53 pm
You are looking amazing!! It will be fun when you can actually take Henry with you to brunch with your friends.
Jordan @ Bake Write Sleep June 24, 2012, 3:58 pm
You look awesomeeee! (And your friend’s hair does too!)

I’m glad you got to get out of the house! I’m sure I’d be missing my baby like crazy too if I had to leave so soon. <3
Katie @ Peace Love & Oats June 24, 2012, 4:01 pm
That’s great that you got a brunch out! I’ve never gone somewhere with gluten free pancakes, I’ll have to keep an eye out! And that’s crazy about a mother’s body, although it does make me think of mothers who lost their baby or had it taken away, how that must feel! Ahhh sorry to go sad there, but I couldn’t help thinking about that!
Caralyn @ glutenfreehappytummy June 24, 2012, 4:04 pm
oh my gosh Henry is SO precious. that is seriously the sweetest little face!! i’m glad you had a nice girls’ afternoon:) how interesting about how your body reacted to being away from him!
Jessica June 24, 2012, 4:21 pm
Good for you for getting out; looks like a great brunch. Man, at 3 weeks, the longest I could manage to be away from my daughter (emotionally, at least) was maybe 45 minutes at the grocery store! The first time I managed over three hours away from her was when I went back to work, at three months! I think it’s good that you started pumping and using a bottle early – I waited until 6 weeks, and by that point my little girl wouldn’t take it (and it took me another three weeks trying different bottles and techniques for her to finally take one!). I was so worried about nipple confusion; I didn’t know to worry about bottle refusal!
Laura Ann June 24, 2012, 4:43 pm
It is so great to see how much you are continuing to do the things in life that make you happy. Home-cooked meals together and brunch with your girlfriend. The part of parenthood that freaks me out (well, one part of it!) is that people are always saying things like, “My life is over. I barely have time to eat.” ESPECIALLY with a newborn. Would love to hear your take on this and how you’re doing all of this (and blogging 3x/day) with a newborn.. and if it’s as easy as you make it look. 🙂
- CaitlinHTP June 24, 2012, 5:12 pm
  Several thoughts:
  
  I am sure there are other means to this end but for me, balancing Henry, blog, and my life has been very much about my husband. Kristien is very involved and we have a truly equal view of parenting. Obviously I do a little more of the child care right now because of nursing but K is extremely involved and proactive. Also I LET him be like this. I think a lot of women unknowingly try to control their baby and husband and end up making their husband feel incompetent and thus unwilling to help. An hour after Henry was born, the husband was holding him for skin to skin. I purposefully have never monopolized him.
  
  Also a lot of moms have told me over and over again that you cannot completely sacrifice yourself and still be a great mom. You have to take care of yourself to be a good mom. In the first few weeks, yes, your baby does need you all the time, especially if you choose not to pump. But I think it’s important to step back even in small ways when you can. It keeps you sane and makes you a better mom in the end.
  
  Thats just my observations and what had worked for me! Henry is very consuming, as are all babies, but if you have support, it’s a lot easier.
  - CaitlinHTP June 24, 2012, 5:16 pm
    Oh also regarding the work thing, we are both currently working part time. This makes a huge difference. I do full time work on M and Fri and the husband works T W Th. It would be very challenging if I was a true SAHM with no assistance to get blog related work done.
    - CaitlinHTP June 24, 2012, 5:18 pm
      Oh annnnd I think people like to bitch about how hard it is because it IS exhausting and it’s nice to get it out. But a lot of it is just venting, so take it with a grain of salt. 🙂
      - Laura Ann June 24, 2012, 9:11 pm
        Awesome. Thank you. I like what you said about women not allowing the men to fully participate. I do home visitation, and I work with a lot of expecting parents and new parents and I often notice that dynamic of mom trying to take over everything. And yes, it is soooo ingrained in our culture that men are incompetent as parents. Sounds like you two are quite a team.
  - Hotpotatokate June 24, 2012, 9:22 pm
    Remember that sometimes pumping isn’t really a question of choice early on, especially for those who are struggling to establish breastfeeding, whether in terms of latch, or supply, or both. Introducing a bottle too early CAN be dangerous, although the dangers of nipple confusion are overhyped, and although pumping boosts supply, some people would take several pumping sessions to get a feed made. For the first four weeks of his life, my baby slept very irregularly during the day, wanted to eat actually constantly, and cried almost all the time. My husband was very involved (he’s now a temporary SAHD, and a fantastic one at that), but there was no way I could have pumped off a full feed at that time. He also went back to work after 1 week, and I had no-one with me, so it was either attend to screaming child or pump! But even when people were there, I was on the couch feeding, because the only thing that made the baby happy was constantly eating. While there would maybe be some lessons learned for next time, there’s no way this was down to the choices we made- apart from the choice to breastfeed!
    - Jessica June 24, 2012, 10:11 pm
      I agree completely! My husband is a fully committed and equal partner and parent (he’s also a SAHD), but I also couldn’t have pumped entire bottles of milk at 3 weeks. It’s not really recommended (although it can work out just fine, like it did for you, Caitlin!) and for most moms it just isn’t feasible – per KellyMom.com, unless you have an extreme oversupply of milk most pumping sessions will give you 1/2 to 2 oz of milk (and a baby usually needs 4 oz at a feeding). So for most new moms, if they choose to breastfeed, they will be nursing every 1-3 hours for to the first 3 months. I think for most moms it’s not a matter of equal parenting, but the biological fact that they are the sole source of food for their newborns. And to be honest, I never minded any of it – my three months of maternity leave was really just about me, my baby, and my husband – like a honeymoon of sorts. I really loved being with my baby 24-7 during that time, since I knew I had to be back at work when she was 12 weeks old. Lots of women also don’t have the luxury to be able to work at home!
      - CaitlinHTP June 24, 2012, 10:34 pm
        Yup!!! Both of you make excellent points. As I said in the comments section a few days ago, the only thing that I have learned about nursing is that there is no one way that works for everyone. I think that’s why I was so stressed out About The Way, Henry ate at first. He didn’t fit the examples given all the books and I assumed something must be wrong. Working with a lactation consultant helped me realize that there is no one right way to do it. It’s so helpful that we have the Internet to allow us to compare notes and realize that everyone and every baby is different!!
      - CaitlinHTP June 24, 2012, 10:38 pm
        Also I wanted to clarify that I don’t think the equal parenting issue is specifically about nursing and feeding; it’s about a lot more than just that. Because the two of you are completely right – in many circumstances (due to work, supply issues, or nipple rejection), if you are breast-feeding there is no way to make it an equal partnership especially at first.
      - CaitlinHTP June 24, 2012, 10:46 pm
        And lastly (sorry apparently I cannot do a complete thought in one response LOL), I hope my comment did not come off in a way that made it sound like I think that everyone could make the choices that we are making. A lot of what we’re doing is things that we can do simply because of the way our jobs are structured and we both acknowledge this. We probably won’t be able to behave in the exact same way when we have our second child, for example. So I guess my initial response was more about our general parenting philosophy then specific techniques that I think could be applied to every parent and every child because of course that is simply not the case.
mary @ what's cookin with mary June 24, 2012, 5:15 pm
I spied a bottled of Texas Pete on the table… we can’t get that here in CA 🙁 I miss my fav hot sauce !!
jen June 24, 2012, 5:46 pm
Good for you for getting out for a little girlfriend time today (and I have to say, you look lovely!)
Elisabeth June 24, 2012, 6:31 pm
Nicole’s hair looks super adorable! 🙂
Kath June 24, 2012, 6:37 pm
Haha love that first pic – and glad you had a good girls’ time out!
Adrienne June 24, 2012, 7:01 pm
You’ve probably heard this a lot, but Henry looks just like Kristien in the first photo!! Have you done any comparisons between you and Kristien as babies and Henry? My bub looked a lot like my sister when he was born but now at 13 weeks, he’s all daddy!

Loving your mummy posts. Sounds like you are both wonderful parents already!
Rachel June 24, 2012, 7:15 pm
You know, when you hear stories like this, about the physical need to be with/protect baby etc, it really makes you wonder about mothers who don’t seem to love or care about their children. I personally don’t know mothers like this, I am speaking of what you hear in the news, see in movies, etc. If this is a physical reaction, there must be something physically wrong with these mothers and that’s really sad to think about.

Just something I was pondering when I was reading your post. I am not a mom so I cannot relate to this feeling. It was very interesting to read about it.
allpointswhole June 24, 2012, 7:45 pm
That’s awesome!! I bet you were ready to feed too!!
Leatitia @ The Sweetest Year June 24, 2012, 9:24 pm
I couldn’t get away from my baby for over one hour in the first 3 months of his life. He was breastfeeding every 2 hours and we know what that means; from the beginning of a feed to the beginning of the next one, so basically, 1 hour and a half of no baby to the boob time.

Did you make a bottle of breastmilk for daddy while you were away? Does Henry eat every 4 hours?
- Leatitia @ The Sweetest Year June 24, 2012, 9:28 pm
  Nevermind, I just read your reply to a comment above!
  
  My baby never took a bottle.. so yeah. I was the only source of food from day 1 up until month 6. Every 2 hours, 24/7. I’m not really sure how I did it, but I guess you do what you have to do for your baby.
Jess June 25, 2012, 5:14 am
I don’t think men are given enough credit as parents. They are made to feel as if it is optional. Do you get what I mean? I have a friend who has a grandson through her son. Her son is an amazing father, really hands on. She thinks that it is ‘unnatural’ for a father to be so involved, feed the kid, caring full time while the mother goes away etc. I think it is awesome. They did make half the kid, they should be responsible for it at least half the time!
Lexi @ You, Me, & A World to See June 25, 2012, 11:39 am
I know exactly what you mean about hormones. Funny how are bodies work 😉
Julia H. @ Going Gulia June 25, 2012, 9:33 pm
I made an impulse hair decision about this time last summer, when I cut off a bunch of my hair to the length of about what Nicole has now (major haircut for me!). I LOVED rocking the short hair for about two months…and then I missed my long hair. I haven’t cut it since and am now trying to grow it back to even longer than I had it before! Nothing wrong with short hair, of course…just was annoying for me since my hair’s naturally curly & curliness didn’t work with the shorter length!

Previous post: Italian-ish

Next post: Noooooo!