I started Crossfit last night and I am having a huge case of I Don’t Belong! I’m scared to go back but I have a month unlimited. It’s very intimidating with all those pro heavy lifters!

I have a persistant feeling of the “I Don’t Belong”s when I swim laps. I’ve been doing it for years (even when my mom was pregnant with me, so the fact that you swim while pregnant makes me so so so happy!) and I STILL feel it. I don’t think it’s a body confidence thing or an ability thing but just a general feeling of displacement. I tend to feel that way in the weights section of the gym, too. I feel awkward and embarrassed easily, though, so I think I’m just going to have to force myself to get over it!

mmmm those stuffed dates look delicious!

i’m like you and just try to remember no one is even close to aware of my insecurity as me!

I’ve ALWAYS felt that way at yoga. Granted, I’ve been probably less than a dozen times to my life, except for one thing — prenatal yoga. I started it at about 15 weeks and went all the way through the end. We did the introductions at the beginning too and everyone shared how many weeks they were and whether it was their first, second, etc. I think the teacher had us do that so that she knew which ones (the further along ones) to specifically modify poses for, but I loved it. I didn’t make any lasting friends, per se, but it always felt like such a welcoming environment. Go back. It helped me keep my sanity and feel somewhat normal, even when I felt like a house!

It’s nice to know there are others out there that have that sense of not belonging, especially when it comes to classes like yoga. When I first started belly dancing last year I was so freaking nervous. I’m a total white girl, completely uncoordinated and definitely not someone typically found in a belly dancing class. But you know what? I absolutely love it now! I still don’t shimmy or shake, but I realized, neither do the other girls in my class nor do they at all care what I’m doing. It’s much more freeing and way more fun once you let go of all the insecurities and just do your own thing. In the end, it’s all about what you get from the class. Just imagine you’re in your own little bubble and no one can see you.

I guess my current “I don’t belong” situation is going back to school after a year of medical leave. I know it isn’t really a similar situation but I’ve been struggling with it. I don’t feel much like a college student anymore and it’s been a while since I’ve diligently studied or been in a classroom even. Tonight I had my first event for my department and I was incredibly nervous (to the point where I was shaking subtly). I kept telling myself over and over, “I’m ok, I’m ok, I’m ok.” Once the lecture started I felt much more at ease. I think things like this take positive self-talk and time.

I go to a gym where I work out right next to my college students and it can be uncomfortable. I have gotten to the point though that I just don’t care. I am there for myself and I am doing this to be healthy and strong. If they have something to say about it, they need to grow up and get a life – most just say hi and move on their way. I heard on the radio once that the DJ thought self-conciousness is silly as no one really cares what you wear, what you look like that day, how your hair is flipping wierd, or if you feel a touch pudgy one day. When I looked around during my classes, it was true, and I definitely don’t care about that stuff! I never even think about it when it comes to other people! Actions and words speak louder than image to me.

Make friends in yoga! I am in an advanced yoga class but can’t do many of the advanced moves because I have an autoimmune disease that doesn’t permit me to. All the girls (and guy) are so supportive and helpful and I’m 10 years younger than everyone there. I felt wierd at first but once you get to know everyone, it’s fun! 🙂

I don’t think I’ll ever get over the “I don’t belongs” – I have to fight with those feelings in just about every situation, from being less intelligent than my peers at PhD level, to feeling generally like a slob where others are pretty and stylish, to being paranoid that I’m the biggest and most out of shape person in the room at every gym class I go to…and I’ve been going to those classes for about 18 months now, but the feelings of fear and self-consciousness are every bit as prevalent as the first day I walked into the studio.

xxx

Okay this might be one of my favorite posts. Until about 5 minutes ago when I read your post I have never thought about the “I don’t belong” feeling. Whenever i start feeling that way I usually give in to the emotion and let it hold me back. I never really thought I had an option not to feel that way. I know that sounds stupid but really I haven’t ever thought deeply about it. I just accepted how I felt. Thanks for the eye opener.

I am all about the hot weather too – the sun is shining today, but my toes were still chilly in flip flops! Roll on Summmer 🙂

I am pretty introverted so I get that feeling in almost every new social situation. I’ve found that it’s gotten better with age, but it can still be hard. I teach at my yoga studio now but there was a time where I felt exactly like you- how do all these peeps know each other, why is noone talking to me, waaah, guess I’ll just go lay in child’s pose. And I just started going to the gym in my hood, where I totally feel like the odd man out and like everyone is staring at me. New/different can be hard!

I bring a friend and then I instantly belong because I have someone there with me. Honestly, when I’m nervous to try out a new class or workout I always bring someone with me for support!

I just joined a new gym, and I struggled with this as well when I started going to the group fitness classes. I know it’s pretty much all in my head, but it’s hard to escape those thoughts.