"I Feel So Fat"

on May 20, 2009

I’m glad the Fat Talk post has spurred a great discussion! Fat Talk is one of my soapbox subjects that I could go on and on about. In fact, the WHOLE DAY is going to be dedicated to Fat Talk issues.

This post is dedicated to the statement, "I feel so fat."

How many times have you eaten something and then said, "Ugh. I feel so fat"? This is completely hyperbolic reaction to overindulging. First of all, even skinny women who aren’t "fat’ say it. Secondly, there’s no way one meal or one dessert can suddenly make you "fat."

So, what do we really mean when we say, "I’m so fat"? We actually mean that we are FULL WITH AN EMOTION. Oftentimes, it’s shame. Or sadness. Or fear. Why do we express our inner turmoil by hating our bodies? Because that’s what Fat Talk and society tells us to do. Don’t admit you’re scared, just feel fat! Don’t admit you’re lonely or depressed, you’re just fat! We can deal with ugliness, we cannot deal with weakness.

The next time you feel the urge to say, "I’m so fat," think about what you REALLY mean. By berating your body, you aren’t doing any favors. But by honoring your emotions, you’re living a happier, more honest life.

Lunch

On that note, I had a wonderful lunch that made me feel satisfied and happy. I started off with a shot of Organic Wheat Grass from Amazing Grass.

Yea… it looks disgusting, and it tasted disgusting. But wheat grass is great for your immune and digestive system, so I choked it down!

It made me feel pretty good afterwards! Well worth the ickiness.

The start of lunch was a baked tempeh, mushroom, and cheese wrap.

AMAZING!

Plus an orange:

Part Three of End the Fat Talk Day

The next post will be dedicated to guilt, as in "I really shouldn’t have eaten that; I feel soooo guilty." Guilt is really just internal Fat Talk. Stay tuned!

{ 35 comments }

Annabel May 20, 2009, 9:36 am
Caitlin, I gave you a shout out in the comments section of this blog: http://www.priorfatgirl.com/2009/05/obsess-much.html

Thanks again for that insightful post.
NoMeatAthlete May 20, 2009, 9:38 am
Great post; excellent message that so many women (and even some men) need to understand.

I tried green mixes on their own in water and pretty much threw up in my mouth. But now I mix them with smoothies sometimes and love it. And it makes me feel great! Can’t wait to try Amazing Grass.
Kailey (SnackFace) May 20, 2009, 9:45 am
Caitlin! Oh my gosh, so this morning in Magazine Feature Writing class, I was editing a girl’s story. She describe this girl as “not fat, but definitely not athletic-looking.” You better believe I commented on that! I wrote something like: The term “fat” should be eliminated from everyone’s vocabulary. It does nothing but promote negative body image and negative thoughts. This helps no one. PLEASE change this.

I may not have written all that on her paper had I not read your post this morning and watched the video. Thank you so much for that!
RunningWithin May 20, 2009, 9:50 am
I love this post!

I love my butt, because even though I have a small frame, I always have some pretty hot padding there, lol. And I love my long, long legs, small frame and small wrists, I used to fell puny sometimes, but I’m just built to be dainty!

Mental- I love that I can write well and easily and that I am intelligent and proud about it.
Lexie May 20, 2009, 9:58 am
Good…I am glad to know you think the Amazing Grass taste gross too! I haven’t tried kale in a smoothie b/c I am afraid it will taste the same way. Does it taste any better?
Kaye May 20, 2009, 10:03 am
Do you know what’s really funny? I almost NEVER say I feel fat! After I have a huge meal, or if I feel like I’ve overeaten, I always say, “Oh, I feel so BLOATED.” Don’t know that this is much better… I unfortunately throw around a lot of “I look fat today.” Which makes just as little sense, and is just as dangerous.
As I get older, I’m starting to realize more and more that being healthy for life is so much more important that vanity.
Joelle May 20, 2009, 10:03 am
Hi Caitlin!
I have been reading your blog for quite a while and love it.. i have never commented before, but this post inspired me. Thank you so much for speaking out on this topic- I completely agree with you, and wish more women could realize that as well.
Casey Anne May 20, 2009, 10:12 am
Thank you so much for “End the Fat Talk” Day…I think you should start a blog movement. Maybe end the Fat Talk WEEK, with posts, videos, articles, etc.? It is such an important and moving concept–I’ve only recently come to realize how much a healthy mental relationship with food and my body can change EVERYTHING in my life! This process started for me when I read “Intuitive Eating,” have you read it?
The Decayed Gentlewoman May 20, 2009, 10:17 am
Wow! I just got a giant click from what you just wrote.
When I was younger, I was in cognitive behavioral therapy for an anxiety disorder. (LOVE LOVE LOVE CBT, by the way.)
One thing I learned is that I substitute an anxious feeling for a feeling I’m not as comfortable processing. I’m good at feeling anxious, I’m used to it, I know what to do with it (worry). I’m not so good at feeling other emotions like anger, guilt, embarrassment, excitement, etc….
So when one of those emotions comes up, I transition it into anxiety.
Obvs I don’t do it as much as I used to, but when I catch myself feeling anxious for no reason, I stop, think about what emotion I was feeling prior to the onset of anxiety and ACKNOWLEDGE it. (This can be hard b/c clearly I don’t want to think about it- but I have to.)
What just clicked for me when you wrote this post is that it is really easy to do something quite similar with feeling fat. So that means I can do the same thing with feeling fat that I do with feeling anxious! Awesome!! Thank you!!!
redheadedjournal May 20, 2009, 10:18 am
Great post!
inmytummy May 20, 2009, 10:24 am
I am currently reading, “When you eat at the refrigerator, pull up a chair” by Geneen Roth which was recommended to me by an RD. She discusses the whole feeling fat/fat is not an emotion thing. It’s interesting.
Meredith (Pursuing Balance) May 20, 2009, 10:35 am
I am totally guilty of this (every single day). In treatment they would always tell us “fat is not a feeling!” and it’s true — what you’re really feeling usually is fear, disappointment, anger, or sadness.
megan May 20, 2009, 10:43 am
great post! since you last posted about this awhile ago, i’ve really made an effort to stop saying things like that and it makes me feel better about myself. 🙂
Sarah Mila May 20, 2009, 10:44 am
I realize after eating a big meal that I personally either say “I feel so fat” out loud, or think it to myself. Really I probably just ate a lot because I liked what I was eating or was bloated from the wrong foods!
Stacey May 20, 2009, 10:49 am
My “I feel fat” wording is: I am so bloated!” Saying Im bloated gives me the feeling it will go away soon 🙂

Ack! I am going to attempt, for my first time, cooking tempeh this friday, wish me luck!
Oh She Glows May 20, 2009, 10:52 am
I love the fat talk!

I swear Eric cringes when I say that. Luckily I say it less and less frequently but he just hates those words coming out of a woman’s mouth. I hate it too.

I LOL’d when you say ‘yes it looks disgusting and it tasted disgusting!’ bahaha. I hear yea- I had a raw beet in mine today- blech!
Amanda May 20, 2009, 10:53 am
LOVE THIS!!

In recovery for disordered eating, I saw a therapist who made me realize that I mask my true emotions (fear, anxiety, etc) and try to control out-of-control situations through something that seemed controllable – my body. I had gotten so used to using food (whether by restricting, bingeing, etc) to cover up other issues. She used to always tell me to “use your words” and express emotions/reach out and ask for help!

THANKS FOR THIS!
Sara May 20, 2009, 11:03 am
Caitlin, I’ve been reading your blog for a while but haven’t commented until now. This post really rang true for me and I just wanted to say that I think you would make a fantastic psychologist/therapist/counselor! Your insight and honesty is always appreciated, thank you.
Caitlin at Healthy Tipping Point May 20, 2009, 11:05 am
sara – haha thanks! i actually considered getting a masters in sexual assault counseling but there’s not enough money in the field to make it worth grad school. but i like reaching people on the blog. you guys help me out through your blogs or comments so much! THANK YOU!
havefaith4ever May 20, 2009, 11:14 am
Love the message! It really is helpful-thank you! Yummy wrap 🙂
<3 jess
elliebelle May 20, 2009, 11:18 am
I have to say, after your fat talk post this morning, I started to feel happier about my own body, realizing that is isn’t bad at all, and that by eating healthy and being happy I do look good. So, I started shopping for bikinis! 🙂 Thanks for bringing up these issues to help all of us see that our bodies are beautiful, it just depends on how we view them.
elliebelle May 20, 2009, 11:19 am
Oh, and about the Amazing Grass stuff, I really like mine mixed with 1/2 Pom Juice and 1/2 water, or for a cheaper version (Pom is sooo pricey!) I use orange juice and water. Then it’s not bad at all!
Runeatrepeat May 20, 2009, 11:21 am
I hate when girls say they feel so fat! Most often it’s a thin girl. How often do you see overweight women call attention to their weight?
shirazandsushi May 20, 2009, 11:37 am
I love what you started today. That video is very moving for me. I feel like I’m constantly around women that not only do the fat talk, but that constant jabber of “well I wouldn’t waste my calories on that” or “i haven’t eaten anything today so i can have fries.” I love wasting calories and I love having fries on days that I’ve eaten all day long!!

Back to your other post- I love my butt. Maybe its a little too big for my small frame, but its high and tight.! Funny story, my severely underweight (starves herself and is proud) boss used to make fun of my butt for being big. I flipped the script on her and kept saying how I love it and guys love it. I just found out she has been wearing padded underwear! I KID NOT!!

Go girls for loving yourself and indulging every now and then!
Jenny May 20, 2009, 11:56 am
amen sister – i couldn’t have said it better myself! I love this – i just saved this post to my computer to refer to when i feeel like saying those 3 silly words!
Sarah W. May 20, 2009, 12:01 pm
since becoming veggie I notice you've been esating alot of tofu & tempeh.

what are your thoughts on soy? moderation? etcetc.

soy is proven to cause female cancer (breast i think?)

feel free to acknowledge in another post.

I felt like I was eating way too much soy when i frist became vegan. soy milk with kashi go lean (soy soy soy!). clif & luna bars all have soy. not including all the asian food which has tons of sodium & soy sauce/soy. etc.
just me May 20, 2009, 12:12 pm
Dude, totally loving the posts today. such great insight and information for all of us to take home. i know i did this exact thing today and totally turned it around because I KNOW you CAN’T FEEEEEL Fat. Not allowed!
recipes for creativity May 20, 2009, 12:15 pm
As the book “When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies” says, “Fat is not a feeling”. Angry is a feeling. Sad is a feeling. Calm is a feeling. Fat is not. As Caitlin said, if you “feel” fat really you’re probably feeling angry at yourself for over indulging or skipping a workout…but why bother, what’s behind that? I think all thoughts like that come from some sort of belief such as “I NEED to lose weight”, “I’d be happier if I weighed less”, etc. Stay in the now.

Again, great topic, Caitlin.
Amanda (Two Boos Who Eat) May 20, 2009, 12:25 pm
I love your positivity! It really does motivate me to stop the fat talk. love it!
sloank May 20, 2009, 12:42 pm
I think this is such a great topic, Caitlin! I’m so glad you’re addressing it!! I know I am guilty of “Fat talk” and have decreased it significantly however, I defnitely still engage in it. I even think to myself while saying it, “now you know you don’t mean this!” And yet, the negative words still come out of my mouth. I think we are constantly comparing ourselves, constantly feeling that our weight is the cause of any unhappiness or difficulty we may face. Instead of addressing the issue, we (I) diet, eat less, exercise more… We create an anxiety over our weight instead of tackling any emotion we might be facing. I think you can start a trend here…. END FAT TALK!!! I love you for addressing this!! Thanks!
Caitlin at Healthy Tipping Point May 20, 2009, 1:04 pm
sarah w – i know im like the queen of soy lately! part of the issue is that if i open a pack of tofu or tempeh, i have to eat it all or it goes bad (hus doesnt like it so much). i haven’t done much research into the effects of soy on breast cancer so i cant say. but, i mean, asians have been eating it forever and i dont think there’s a huge issue with it over there. plus, breast cancer doesnt run in my family. something to think about though!
KK @ Running Through Life May 20, 2009, 1:24 pm
Great topic! Thanks for this. I am so guilty of saying “I feel so fat.” Time for a change!
Help Meghan Run May 20, 2009, 1:30 pm
So true, Caitlin! It’s really important that a meal doesn’t make us fat, but maybe it made us feel a certain way and we need to learn from that. Good points. 🙂 And maybe try a banana with your green nastiness? 😉
julie May 20, 2009, 2:31 pm
used that exact brand of wheatgrass yesterday and made a great smoothie, it had 1 cup orange juice,1/2 frozen berries, 1/2 a slice bannana 1 cup of spinach, and 1 tablespoon of amazing grass it was yummy, great post regarding “fat talk”
Ms.Nicolina May 21, 2009, 8:12 am
Just wanted to say thanks for this post. Not too many people realize the connection between eating and emotion. “feeling fat” weather your fat or not definately says something about whats going on inside and its great that you put it out there for women to realize about themselves.

http://plussizeddreams.blogspot.com

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