runningaddict – i understand WHY women do it, and i used to do it too, but it just makes me so sad to hear.

How old is Maggie?? Not to be negative, but Kiwi (may she rest in peace) started doing that a LOT last year…. and it ended up being caused by her kidneys failing 🙁

Ah I’m so excited for youuu! 5 days?!? Fabulous.

I totally agree about the FAT talk…I am pretty sensitive to it too. I will totally go off on someone if they start that kind of BS, especially if they are close to me. I don’t want anyone going down the same road I did, so I really try to POSITIVELY influence the body image of those around me.

Have a great day! 🙂

my friends are all about the fat talk, though i’m pleased to say i never engage! the worst is when people start talking about “HOW FAT” they look, when all they are looking for is reassurance that they aren’t fat! i try not to take it personally, because i know it’s just their low self-esteem – which is sad! – but sometimes, it’s hard not to think twice about your own appearance.

so happy for you and the wedding of your dreams! 🙂

I’m so excited for you! Your wedding will be beautiful and perfect regardless of the weather!

I hate Fat Talk. I catch myself doing it sometimes, mostly to my husband, and I’m making a conscious effort to stop. I only have a few friends who do it. Do you have any good responses for when someone starts it??

hmmm amanda that is a very good question!

i think what has stopped me from fat talk is observing my mother (sorry mom if you see this). to be honest, my mom is THE WORST FAT TALKER IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. she non-stop engages in fat talk, and it is semi-ridiculous because (1) fat talk is never cool, even if you are actually overwight and (2) she’s NOT overweight at all!

i think it was easiest to change my own behavior about fat talk when i observed it in my mom and other people and i really saw how it made them and the people around them feel. its hard to analyze your own behaviors but wayyy easier to pick on someone else. 🙂

when my mom would do it, i would think about how it made ME feel even though i wasn’t engaging in the talk. just seeing how fat talk affects others (like your boyfriend) makes it easier to stop than if you just ruminate on how it makes you feel — after all, as women i think we are accostumed to hearing ourselves talk fat.

i also stopped by thinking seriously about how fat talk would affect my little cousins or my future daughters if they heard me fat talking.

i think its good to consciously correct yourself (even outloud) when you do it. like if you find yourself saying to your boyfriend, “do i look fat in this?” immediately say “ugh i dont even know why i said that, i don’t think i’m fat at all! don’t i look fabulous? let’s go to dinner.” and LAUGH IT OFF.

when you catch yourself thinking fat, do the same mental correction. if you’re observing yourself in the mirror and think “my tummy looks soft,” CONSCIOUSLY stop yourself and say “that’s ridiculous! plus, look how hot your [insert fav body part here] is” OR “who cares if i ate three cookies yesterday? i’m top of my class/just got a promotion/was nice to that random person the other day.”

it’s hard work to verbally or mentally correct yourself, but after a while it becomes a habit!

and think of what a good example you’ll be setting for your friends when you verbally correct your own fat talk!

bridget –

now, i think its different when other people are engaging in fat talk. you can’t correct them the same way you can correct yourself. when you correct your own fat talk, you are saying “fat talk is not ok, you are fab!” but when you do the same thing to someone else, it can come off as ENCOURAGING the fat talk (i.e. “i’m so fat”, “no you aren’t, youre so skinnyyyyy!”) with positive reinforcement.

i’m going to use my mom again because she’s a really good example, unfortunately. 🙁 when she fat talks, i say something like “mom, that is really ridiculous. you are beautiful and amazing on the inside. it’s amazing you didn’t give me an eating disorder talking like that.” AND THAT’S IT. i disengage the conversation.

also, when they AREN’T talking fat, it might be a good idea to approach the topic “philosophically” and discuss how the behavior is bad for all women, not just the fat talkers. if you get fat talkers to discuss the topic without feeling personally attacked, its helpful!!

I am with you…it makes me sad when girls engage in “fat talk”

Poor Maggie! Hope she’s alright!! At least she does pee on your bed like my dog has done – oh I was not a happy dog mommy that day!

I can not staaaaand fat talk! When people start doing it I just give them short one worded answers so they hopefully stop. Most of the time I think people are fishing for compliments too but, sorry if this is rude, I don’t give in to it!

What a nice comment from you FH though!!

Caitlin, yet again… you’re a freaking genius! This is such a huge issue and I’m so glad you addressed it.
I used to be SO down on myself and actualy start getting depressed because I couldn’t button my jeans and I was wearing sweats everywhere.
I decided to action! (Yay to doing something about our problems as opposed to complaining) I hit the gym and started to watch the calories. All of a sudden I knew that I was doing the best I could and my less attractive body parts were fine becuase they would come along gradually, and they did! Along with eliminating the bad body talk all together, doing something about it also helped me.

I love the Greek godess tummy. That is awesome! I really try not to engage in fat talk,but I won’t lie…I often think fat thoughts. I figure if I don’t say it out loud, the thoughts will eventually go away. This works most of the time. Plus, I’ve learned to accept my body. I do the best I can with exercise and diet. You just gotta learn to love everything about yourself, and I’m trying 🙂

omg woman you hit the spot with me and this fat talk issue…esp when it comes to my mom…she does the EXACT SAME THING AS YOURS. I can always seem to say something to her to get her to stop doing it but when it comes to myself it’s so much harder. i seriously needed this post after the past few days and if i ever “fat talk” in front of you after we finally meet, SMACK ME PLEASE!

oh yeah, and i was going to mention about maggie…our dog lucky is about 3-4 and has a peeing problem…where if she got too relaxed she would just pee…but my parents found out that she has some sort of hormonal imbalance and now takes meds everyday and has yet to pee on the carpet/hardwood floor since! let me know if you want more info about it.

STOP THE FAT TALK! I think we need to influence this and future generations to think healthily about their body images. Fat talk only leads to bad places… bad thoughts… and worst of all – Eating Disorders.

As women we need to be more conscious of what comes out of our mouths (As women are the usual suspects of fat talk) and realize that we are negatively affecting each other.

I like Jenngirl become raging mad when I hear others talking negatively about people’s bodies. I would rather be seen as rude then let other people become affected by other’s comments and get into negative habits like I did.

I hope the weather is gorgeous for your big day!!!

I’m guilty of fat talk occasionally, as much as I hate to admit it. Sometimes I’ll be a little too hard on myself, but there have also been times when I needed to wake up and realize that I WAS getting too fat. I guess there’s a difference between complaining and becoming self-aware though.

I know you’re not a professional nutritional counselor/RD/MD/etc., but, do you have any advice for healthy weight gain? I’m 5’4 and went from 125 to about 102 (lots of exercise, super clean eating). I had only intended to get down to 115 initially, then it became 110…ahem and so on. Anyway, I’d like to gain about 8 pounds. Any other readers please weigh in as well! Thanks thanks thanks

Caitlin,

THANK YOU for this post, your response, and the link to the YouTube video.

For so long I have let the negative voices in my head dictate how I feel about myself, which led to an eating disorder and is truly preventing me from fully recovering. It is one thing to stop the disordered behaviors and a completely different task to stop the negative thinking. Although I may appear to have overcome my issues, my thoughts often bring me down.

I am such a talented person who has achieved so much (running a half-marathon, passing my CPA exam, etc.) but for some reason, I let my feelings about my body … which don’t even have merit … dictate my self-worth.

I am going to start talking back to those negative thoughts!

Also that video was really great 🙂

My husband did the same thing to me as your friend did – told me to either stop bitching or DO something about it. I’m glad I chose the second one, even though he loved me no matter how fat I was. 😉