That pains me so much, to hear of children committing suicide. I just want to help them so badly! I’ve worked with 14 year old girls as a camp counselor and I’m not a GOTR coach, and I love being able to talk to the girls, to help them through the hard things they’re dealing with. This post definitely has me re-evaluating what I want to do with my life. I’m in law school but I know I don’t want to be an attorney, and I know I LOVE helping people, I just need to find a career to match me.

That poor girl. I’m sure we all would love to go back in time and tell our pre-teen and teenaged selves to be strong.

I was bullied in elementary and middle school. I don’t think I really felt secure enough to be unapologetically me until high school (but I also went to a school where you could be smart AND cool). If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be to have compassion for those who teased me. Usually people who bully are bullied themselves. They’re incredibly insecure, so to latch onto popular friends, and they tease other people to raise their social status. But often they feel like their grip on their own friendships is weak.

I know having compassion is hard when someone is making your life miserable. But know this, teens! You never want to peak in high school. Trust me, the cheerleading captains had a long way to fall once they hit the real world, while the quiet bookworms grew up to become awesome women. Just look at Tina Fey! Speaking of SNL alumni, Amy Poehler created a website called Smart Girls at the Party (http://www.smartgirlsattheparty.com/) where writers explain different topics in a relatable way, and Amy herself has an awesome video advice column. She’s kind of my hero.

What a terrific project, Caitlin!

I work with a Bullying Prevention program called Dance 4 Peace (www.dance4peace.org). We are a global peace education nonprofit that prevents violence and bullying and transforms conflict in schools and communities through dance and creative movement. Our curriculum promotes empathy, mediation skills, anger management, and conflict transformation to instill social and emotional competencies for peace. To date, Dance 4 Peace has worked with over 8,500 youth in fifteen cities on four continents.

If you are interested, I’d love to tell you more about Dance 4 Peace and share some of the stories of the young people we have worked with!

Amanda Todd’s story is absolutely heartbreaking. When I watched her video, and saw what she had gone through, and what started it all, it hit even harder than I expected it to. I mean, that could just as easily have been me, or one of my friends, when we were that age. People like to say that they’d never let those things happen to them, but you really can’t say that unless you’re in the same situation. It’s so easy to go just a little too far, and in the age of the internet, those mistakes last forever.

I’m so glad that you guys are doing this. People need to know that it really does get better.

I don’t think I have anything to really add but…suicide is a hard issue. I had a friend a two years ago commit suicide…no one saw it coming (looking back I think she may have been bi-polar or had another mental health issue that she didn’t share outside her family). Not a day goes by that I do not think about her–either because I see the car she used to drive or I remember a conversation we had. If anyone is committing suicide (or even when discussing the topic) I think it is important to remember that when someone commits suicide they are not just killing themselves but killing a part of everyone around them.

On another note, have you seen or read Perks of Being a Wallflower? I think it does a great job of addressing suicide and showing how things can get better (“I’m both happy and sad and I’m trying to figure out how I can be both.”)

Also, there’s a proverb I really like: Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.

I think this comment may just be a rambling mess, but I wanted you to know that I support your efforts and wish you the best! A supportive community is ESSENTIAL for those who are unhappy/bullied/suicidal/etc.

I haven’t watched this video and I feel for her, her family and her friends. However, some of the research I’ve done has left me with the distinct impression that Amanda Todd was a very sick young lady who was undergoing treatment for multiple mental health issues. Yes, the bullying didn’t help things but it’s not the reason she killed herself. Yet, we all remain shamefully silent about mental illness. I wish we had taken this opportunity to talk about an arguably bigger issue with an enormous stigma.

This is a complex issue. As it seems in some of the previous comments, bullying is a buzzword that media likes to use, and in my opinion, it’s overused. I teach elementary school, so I’ve gone to trainings to understand more about bullying, and it was really eye opening to learn the true definition. Parents are very quick to overreact and cry “bullying” for things that are just typical kid behavior – two girls getting in an argument, name calling on the playground, etc (not appropriate behavior, and should be addressed, but that’s not bullying). All this crying wolf is taking away from the true bullying cases that need attention. I wish the media would stop hyping it up so the people involved could actually try to stop it.

I’m so happy you wrote this post. I’m from Canada and was deeply shocked and horrified to hear of Amanda Todd’s story. The video broke my heart and I feel so bad that no one was there to reach out to her. As someone who went through bullying myself, I know the pain of feeling so un-important and thinking that no one would miss me if I wasn’t here no longer; luckily I was able to see past those thoughts and keep myself alive. I look back and am so thankful that my family never gave up on me and I’m so happy now to have found a wonderful husband who loves me for who I am. I think that bullies don’t realize that they truly change the fabric of the person they are bullying. Years later I still am working through the pain. It gets better but it sticks with you.

Amanda’s story is very sad, but I wonder if the focus that came out of her suicide will end up helping as many people as is intended. I’m a student teacher in the school district that Amanda has recently attended and her mother and stepmother are also involved in the school district and there are many more sides that have come up within this community than mainstream news has grasped on to.

From everything that has come out of it, it seems that there were many interventions given to Amanda and all avenues of help her explored. It wasn’t a problem that would easily be solved and she had internal struggles that were aggravated by the bullying. The focus on victims overcoming bullying is just as sad as if we had a focus on women overcoming abuse or rape rather than on prevention of misogynistic acts in the first place.

I think that what happened to Amanda was more than just bullying. It was sexist and provoked by gender norms. That’s something that has to shift and be modeled by adults in order for youth to understand that you cannot torment someone for naive decisions. She moved schools many times and was not able to escape. Why isn’t there a focus on the older boy that motivated her to take the photos that triggered this issue? Is it considered “normal” for the animalistic male to make such requests. Meanwhile, it is up to the young girl to regulate this by not satisfying him with photos or dressing more conservatively? It is just frustrating to here about Amanda’s story as a girl who couldn’t take it anymore and resorted to suicide, while the stories of her classmates and the older boy are most often left out…

*PS* The video can be very triggering for people who are already vulnerable to those entertaining suicidal thoughts therefore it was the decision of the school district not to show it in classrooms. It is heartbreaking and eye-opening, but be aware before showing it to youth (or other adults!) who are potentially affected.