I don’t know how this could even be a debate! I can’t see anything wrong with anyone trying to encourage me, even if it’s the facetious “you’re almost there.” It’s not like anyone is saying these things with anything but good intentions – even if I’m dead and annoyed, it’s still appreciated that these people are taking energy or time to say something nice.

Sometimes I WANT to be encouraging to others because I know sometimes I like it, but I don’t want to come off as condescending if I am indeed passing them. In out-and-back races, I’ve definitely cheered on people at the head of the pack, first woman, first young kid I see coming back in. I definitely avoid “you’re almost there” because I’ve found most people say it when I’m not actually almost there and my almost there might be different.

I love mid-race encouragement for the most part. I ran my first marathon in May, and while I coasted through the first half, I really struggled through the second half. My running buddy (God bless her for sticking with me the whole time.) and I approached mile 24. We were tired and sore. I was seriously questioning my ability to finish well; I had already lost sight of my time goal. I broke down. I was so full of emotion: I couldn’t believe I was running and going to finish a marathon. I couldn’t believe someone would run 26.2 miles with me. I missed my husband; I wanted to see him at the finish line so bad. I missed my parents and my dog. I marveled at how far I had come and how incredible that day would be for me. I cried. I hugged my friend and thanked her for being with me, because I know I would have been in far worse shape without her there. We rounded a bend and came across a volunteer, a guy about our age, who said the most incredibly nice things at just the right time: He said something to the effect of “You guys are amazing. You are doing something incredible. You have 2 miles to go. You can do this. I know it hurts. I know you’re tired, but you can do it — just run to the next sign, then walk, then do it again.” It was so much better than random spectators clapping and cheering and telling us we were almost there. It was like he took the time to look at us, evaluate our situation and personalize our encouragement. I will never, ever forget that moment.

I like the encouragement but I know I am slow and I’ll never be fast so people will always pass me. Also on the “you’re almost there” comment, at the last half marathon I did that asked people to not say that and it was great. I think people just want to be nice and helpful but that is the worst thing to say.

I have never done a race in my life so I am probably not the best person to comment on this but… Once my girlfriend and I were jogging as an attempt to jump start our workout regimine and as we approached a much more finessed runner he said, “you can do it, keep it up!” We both started laughing because we thought we must have looked like we were dying and in need of encouragement. It was a bit embarassing even though he was trying to be nice.

I agree that you should give encouragement to those that seem like they are struggling but I bet it’s hard when you think you are being nice and the person you are trying to lift up is feeling patronized.

I agree….sometimes the “pep talk cheers” by people I don’t know agravate me and end up stressing me out a little. I prefer the cowbells and just general cheers rather than the ones that sound more personal….but I know that my boyfriend prefers the encouragement

completely agree with you. that’s why sometimes i hold back when passing someone because i don’t want them to feel like how you did after 20 comments. (not that it happens a lot, as i’m the one usually getting passed :D)

When I ran my first (and only) half marathon I trained during the winter and never had a training run in a temperature above 60, and of course the day of the race it was 85 degrees at the start. By about mile 9 I was really feeling the heat and was struggling and the absolute last thing I wanted to hear were words of encouragement from either the people passing me or the spectators standing on the sidewalk. I simply wanted to be left alone so I could focus on moving forward. Ha, I guess I’m just a cranky racer. 🙂

I like the encouragement, as long as it seems genuine. I will sometimes say “Nice job!” to another runner just out for a morning run, and I will definitely say it during races. However, if you’re saying “Nice job, nice job, nice job” to everyone you pass, it doesn’t come across as meaningful.

My answer to this question a few months ago would have been “No way!” Except that I’ve experienced runs or races now where those encouraging word have made a surprising difference. If not because they make me feel like I’m doing awesome, then because they make me realize how awesome it is that I’m out there doing it. When someone tells me “Nice job!” on a run, I think, “Yeah, it is pretty cool that I’m out here running. I could be asleep on the couch. Go, me!”

I agree with you that encouraging someone who is roughly your same pace during a race makes sense. It’s how I made it through my first marathon – I fell into step with a few different people at different points throughout the race, and we encouraged each other. There was a steady incline for a few miles near the end, and another woman and I ran silently next to each other the whole way. It was was unspoken encouragement, but it was so helpful.

In other cases, though, encouragement that is intended to be helpful can actually be very off-putting. I remember being out for an easy run in my neighborhood, and a guy passed me and said, “Keep going, you can do it!” While my face was bright red, I didn’t feel like I was struggling during the run…but his comment made me feel like I must have looked like I was really struggling. I wanted to let him know that I wasn’t a new runner, that I wasn’t out of shape or out of breath…my face just gets really red! I ended the run feeling pretty discouraged, even though I’m sure he was trying to be helpful.

i always feel like a bitch and so ungrateful when i hear such nice things but really want the person to shut it.

a good example was a few weekends ago i was out running 13 miles, and i kept crossing paths with people on bikes. they were friendly and told me to keep it up. but it’s really hard to keep running and going when you see someone on a bike just zoom by. even though i know they’re out biking 20-30 miles themselves i wanted to be like you have it easy on WHEELS!

I’m usually all about encouragement….but during my Half IronMan tri, a lady yelled “keep going” when I had stopped to walk because of a MAJOR pain in my lower abdomen. I kind of wanted to hit her. hah. NO I am not going to keep going if it is painful to move. Haha. BUt yes, normally I am nice & like to encourage & get encouragement. 😉

I live in Budapest, Hungary and the racing/running community is rather small, only a few thousand people (5 or 6 maybe?) for the biggest Marathon and Half Marathon. I have never had many people pass me trying to be encouraging, and I am slow, but I do think that it really gets annoying after a while.

I love this topic. I am not big on either giving or receiving encouragement. I know that from an spectator’s point of view there seems to be nothing wrong with yelling “almost there” or “looking good!” But as a seasoned racer, I can tell you that when you are having a bad day, and you’re NOT looking good, and you feel like s*it, hearing the same cheerful cries can get on your nerves. A race situation puts you a very peculiar psychological state: you’re pushing your limits, you are hurting, sometimes you’re going into hypoglycemia – hence your brain is a little wonky – and what people tell you can rub you the wrong way. This is the reason why I rarely say things to other racers when I am passing them. There is something so annoying about being passed and hearing “good job.” Well, you don’t know me, or how I trained or how hard I can race, and, in fact, I want to say, there ain’t nothing good about my pace right now! I have connected with fellow racers in moments of pain, when an understanding nod is well received, or a few mutually encouraging words can help carry you both to the finish line. However, the perfunctory “doing great,” as you get passed is rarely, in my eyes, a good idea.

Also, I wish I could carry a slingshot to bring down every spectator who cries “almost there” anywhere but by the finishing chute. I have raced Wildflower a few times, and I have seen spectators tell racers “almost there” half way through the 1/2 mary.

What I DO like is when people from TNT or other charities spot each other and go “go team!” or something like that…

Side note: me second coaching session with GOTR went much better than the first one. THANK YOU for your advice!

I marshalled at my running clubs annual half marathon on Sunday. I made sure I yelled out what I would want to here at about a third into the race, just after I’d climbed a mammoth hill: “looking good, nice and strong” “looking fierce, lady in pink! Go girl” “owning it!”

I had to tell my marshalling partner NOT to say “almost there” and also stop him from telling fibs about the hills that were just around the corner….

Ha ha! That’s funny ‘cuz at the beginning of your post when you said everyone was making encouraging comments as they passed, I didn’t realize where you were going w/ the rest of the post, & I thought to myself, “Huh… it must just be me, but I think I’d find that really annoying!” 😛

This post makes me love you more than I already did! SO real.

My thoughts on encouragement from the sidelines:
I always wear my name on my shirt during marathons, because typically I love to hear the encouragement from spectators . One time I was having a horrible race and totally wanted to rip the name bib off my shirt mid-race because it felt like everyone was mocking me when they cheered! Anyway, I know it was probably all in my head, and people mean well when they cheer/offer encouragement.

Ditto on “you’re almost there”. Ugh!

I’ve thought about this before but in a slightly different situation. I do Crossfit and when I’m running back and they are just starting their run portion I say something encouraging, but I’m always afraid they are secretly annoyed and hate me!

On one of my long runs while training for my first half, I was really dragging. Suddenly this older, middle aged man came up behind me, ran next to me, and told me that I “had this” and I “needed to push a little harder!” Normally that would piss me off, but he was right—and I did.

During the half that I had been training for, I came upon a fellow runner who was clearly running out of steam—and we were less than a mile from the finish! I paid it forward by telling her the same thing: that she had this and could totally do it. She thanked me, picked up her pace, and finished just behind me. It was awesome.

Mmm, interesting. In a big race I usually just focus on myself and don’t encourage others, or pay much attention to whether I’m being encouraged. At my weekly running club runs though, it’s encouragement all the way. We run using a handicap system where the slower runners start first and the faster last so that it all comes together at the end and anyone can win regardless of pace. So generally you are passing slower people who started ahead of you, and faster people catch and pass you. Everyone is so encouraging to each other, so even though you are passing someone slower or a faster person is passing you, there’s always a genuine word of encouragement. It gives the club such a great feel and it is definitely coming from a good place.

This is making me think you all need to give your head a shake.
A person you don’t know.
Has made the effort – verbally – to cheer for, encourage or motivate you.
They are either standing on the side of the road, possibly in the cold, or rain, or snow, because they have volunteered their own time so you could participate in your own personal running achievement or the person they are waiting for is still behind you. OR they are beside you on the course fighting their own demons to get to their personal running finish line. But despite their selflessness you don’t like the phrase they chose or the potentially sarcastic implications of your pace.
Give yourself a moment and imagine that race course – without those people – without the volunteers or families cheering.
If it is your own personal self talk that you are hearing – those other runners could pass you in absolute silence and the mocking you’d hear will still be deafening.