Interesting question. I am a vegetarian and my hubby loves his meat. I do buy and prepare meat for him (about 3x per week, the other nights he eats vegetarian) because he simply is not “satisfied” no matter how much of my vegetarian fare he eats for dinner. He loves what I make as a vegetarian but if I did not prepare meat dishes for him as well he would be eating very unhealthy by hitting up the local drive-thru all the time for his “meat-fix”. He can’t cook for himself because he is 1) lazy and 2) he does not know how. His cooking abilities are with the microwave and I want him to be on the same healthy lifestyle that I am. In order to ensure that he too is properly fueling his body with the diet (omnivore) that he chooses I cook him some meat for a balanced diet. I choose to not eat meat for both ethical reasons an health reasons; but still I do not feel that my husband should be forced to follow the exact diet I choose when we have different beliefs. I support him and he supports me. (sorry for the novel!)

My husband knows that if he wants meat, he has to buy and cook it. But I’m this way with everything! I did not married to be someone’s mother, I am their partner. So I am not the sole cook, cleaner, launderer, or most important parent. It works out nicely for us since he doesn’t expect me to have dinner for him or his clothes folded. Of course I will do these things for him when I’m already in the kitchen or the laundry room, but it is definitely not a given. It works for us and our personalities, but I know many are not like this!

I agree with your stance that the cook rules. My husband and I are both vegetarians, but I eat a mostly vegan diet and he’s more open to eating dairy. He knows I would prefer not to cook with cheese, for example, and wouldn’t expect me to prepare something with it if I wasn’t planning on also eating it. It was similar when I was growing up too – my parents were vegetarians, but I ate meat once in a while. My mom had a problem with touching/preparing meat, so if I wanted to eat it, I made my own meal. Made sense to me.

I think, when possible, people should try to be respectful of each other’s eating preferences.

What a great question. I’m a vegetarian and my husband isn’t. I do all the cooking and grocery shopping (because I love to do both!). I cook meat for my husband and something different for myself. Most of the time I don’t mind, but sometimes I do get a little sick making 2 different meals. I am all for having your husband cook his own meals, but mines in law school – I’d rather have him focus on school than worry about cooking dinner for himself. Can’t wait to see what everyone’s suggestions are.

I love your reply! The cook rules is a great way to put it when others ask a vegetarian to cook meat. Most of the time my boy-friend understands my discomfort with meat when I cook. Like his mom cooks her tortillas IN meat. It makes me sad when I can’t eat stuff just because she chooses to cook it in the same pot, but it’s her way and I choose personally not to complain.

I’m a vegetarian, and my husband is an omnivore. He usually cooks our meals at the moment, making either a vegetarian dish for the both of us, or adding some meat to his plate. When I cook a meal, I rarely prepare meat for him. I find it a bit gross, and I don’t really know what to do with it. A pork roast? Sorry, I don’t know how! Thankfully, my husband doesn’t mind eating mostly vegetarian dishes, and he knows how to prepare meat or fish for himself.

First, Caitlin – thank you so much for posting this question and so quickly!!

Second – so many helpful responses here! It seems like most say fend for yourself, if you want meat, but many of you still cook meat for your spouses. Great to see the spread of responses.

Also, I’m not totally veg – I did add fish back into my diet about 6 months ago. So, I also cook fish for us – which my husband was very happy about.

Thanks again for the many responses!! 🙂

I’ve been a vegetarian for 14 years and don’t keep eggs or dairy in my house (I will eat them when I am out). I actually take a two-sided stance on this. When I entertain in my home I will always include cheese and/or something with meat that I will cook. I think it’s important to respect other’s choices in terms of eating, but I want them to respect mine when I’m in their home ;). When I lived with my ex and now with my roommates, however, I do not cook meat for them on a daily basis. If they want some of my vegetarian/vegan fare, they are, however, more than welcome 🙂

I actually have read that it’s really bad for pets to be vegetarian and I’ve also read some newer research that stated a grain-free diet is great for dogs. It’s really interesting the various nutritional needs of us and our pets!

I agree! I only became a vegetarian about 3 months ago and am the cook in the relationship. I’m lucky because my boyfriend is an adventurous eater as well and likes vegetables, so he doesn’t complain. I don’t care if he eats meat, but I do subscribe to the belief that if he wants it he can cook it. I know he would probably like it if I’d cook meat for him, but I think he also understands. Of course, I do take care to cook foods we both like – I won’t force him to eat brussel sprouts even though he’s wrong and they are delicious! 😉

Wah Wah Wah. You would all expect for your spouse to cook the foods you like, why can’t you do the same for him? You expect your spouse to respect that you don’t eat meat, but are you respecting that he does? My boyfriend is the pickiest eater in the world (ie: no cheese, no seafood, not too many vegetables, no weird vegetarian burgers etc)and I understand it, and I work around it. This often means eating the foods I love for breakfast and lunch so that dinner, the one meal that is made for both of us, can be enjoyed by both of us. I definitely would rather save my battles for real issues. Pick up the damn steak and stop crying.

I am a vegetarian and my husband is not. He also works full time and goes to law school at night. He does not have the time (nor the skill, really) to cook meals for himself. So I do cook meat for him. The alternative would be that he ate out all the time, which would be unhealthier and more expensive. I would prefer him to have wholesome homemade meals with meat, rather than carry out food all the time. I try to buy humanely raised, organic meats when I can.

I would really love that sauce too….mmmmm yummy!

My mother has been a vegan for about 2 years and continued to cook meat for my father until recently. She says that he can cook it himself or he can eat what she eats. So he’s been eating what she eats, she just doesn’t tell him what’s in the food or he wouldn’t eat it 😉

I’m vegetarian, and I don’t cook meat for my hubsband. Mostly because I don’t know how! The last time I cooked meat was for thanksgiving a few years back. (I put the turkey in the oven!)*

Interesting question. One thing I’ve noticed some commenters say is that they haven’t cooked meat in a while so they wouldn’t know what to do with it – but that is what recipes are for! Although if its physically repulsive, obviously that’s another issue.
I’m a flexitarian, who mostly eats vegetarian. My husband and I went vegetarian around the same time, so it hasn’t been an issue for us. However, when we go to immed. family’s houses they are ALWAYS asking us what we can and can’t eat, sometimes we make exceptions if we know where the meat came from. We went veggie out of ethical/political reasons, so sometimes we’re okay if the meat is organic/free-range/etc. So I always appreciated that they were concerned with our dietary restrictions.
If my husband DID eat meat, I think I would prepare it for him as long as I knew it was good quality and wasn’t from a CAFO. It also just isn’t practical all the time. He is supporting us while I’m in grad school and it’d be pretty mean of me to make him follow my beliefs if he didn’t feel the same way.
We are coming to a point though, where I want to start reintroducing meat back at home once a month and I don’t think he likes that very much 😉

I love to cook. I am vegetarian but my husband is not so I do cook a lot of his “carnivore-ish” meals. If not cooking his meaty meals would make him go Veg, I wouldn’t do it but it won’t so I’m ok with that.

I’ve been veg for 16 years and have cooked chicken twice in my life. Once for my college boyfriend who considered any vegetable “salad” and claimed he didn’t like “salad”. Whatever.

Over the summer, i attended a potluck with a small group of people. Because I didn’t know most of them well, I knew i would feel bad if i brought something “too weird” that no one ate. I ended up making buffalo chicken dip AND a quinoa salad. I agree that the cook should have final say in what is cooked or served, but i also think that you should give people options and not shove your practices in their faces without some sort of compromise.

Can’t really speak for a married situation but off the bat agree that if one person wants meat, he/she should prepare it. Ultimately, they would have better control of how it tastes (ownership therefore value), you know?

Hi Caitlin, thanks for bringing up such an interesting topic… I have been Vegetarian (going Vegan) for almost a year now and I have continued to cook meat for my boyfriend (not a veg). Throughout our 4 years together I have always been the lead cook and when I decided to take the leap and become a Vegetarian I decided I would make sure that it didn’t effect his life in anyway. I completley understand why some people swear off touching and cooking meat but at this point in my life I try not to let it bother me. So far, it’s worked out just fine.

I would think it should depend on why you’re a vegetarian. If you’re vegetarian for ethical reasons, and you’re primarily uncomfortable with how most mainstream meat is produced, I wouldn’t see anything wrong with cooking ethically sound meat for your S.O., family, whoever.

If you don’t eat meat because you think it’s straight up bad for you or whatever, then I understand why you wouldn’t want to prepare it for others – no one wants to think they’re contributing to their man’s unhealthiness!

My boyfriend and I both include meat as a primary part of our diets, so no arguments in the kitchen for us. 🙂

Oh my, that meal sounds amazing! <3 Must. Make. 😛 xyx

I have not cooked meat since I became a vegetarian 3 years ago. I have dated my boyfriend for 5 years and have lived with him only about 5 months, but I have always expressed my opinions about not cooking meat with him. He never minded eating vegetarian and actually became a pescatarian shortly after we started living together! win win for me : )

My thought process when I saw that first picture: “How is that dog staying on her legs like that?!”
Then I realized you’re sitting down & not standing. That explains a lot.

Anywho, you’re so crafty with your meals! Goat cheese + pumpkin? Who would have thought!

My husband is not a vegetarian, nor is my son. I will cook meat for the two of them if they want. I think that being a vegetarian was my personal decision and I don’t think I should push it upon them. Just as I won’t push my religious or political beliefs upon them. My husband loves vegetables and tofu, but there are times when he really wants meat. He usually does most of the cooking in our house, so he will typically cook me one meal and himself another, but for his birthday, I made about 5 meats for him since he has been so good about eating mostly veggies for me.

I told my husband from day one that I won’t cook meat, and if he wants it then he can cook it himself. And he’s okay with this! As far as house guests go, I’m not shy about my vegetarianism so they know what they’re getting into. I’m always sure to not cook anything “weird” and I know everyone will like though–I recently made black bean burgers for my meat-eating in-laws and they loved them!

I cook meat for my boyfriend. If I’m going to be the primary cook then I’m definitely going to take the other eater’s palette into consideration. Obviously you can say “cook it yourself”, but it seems unnecessary. If you’ve established a routine as the primary cook, then cook for both tastes and not just your own. If this is the first time in a little over a year that he’s asking you to cook meat I think he’s been pretty awesome.

I am the main cook in my house (just me and my bf), and although I eat mostly vegetarian (for health and ethical reasons) I would NEVER push my dietary preferences on anyone! That’s a little one-sided to me. He would never cook meat-only meals and I certainly would never tell him to make his own dinner if I’ve been in the kitchen making myself something yummy. I don’t know. I’m pretty old-fashioned when it comes to male/female relationships so this just seems completely strange to me. I enjoy taking care of my man, and if that means preparing meat-filled dishes, that’s what I’ll do.

i am a no meat and no dairy vegetarian and my husband is a meat an pototoes kind of guy. i absolutely love to cook, and i get really creative iwhat i make for myself, and hes really developing a taste for it. he love seitan, veggie stir fry, and tempeh. since hes always so open to my food, i do make an effort to cook meat for him, bc i know he likes it! i do though, refuse to look at or touch certain things: red meat of ANY kind, meat with bones, or skin. i honestly cant expect him to become a vegetarian, so i have compromised by finding recipes that are wholesome and healthy for him. a great resource is the magazine “clean eating”, i have their cookbook ”
the best of clean eating”, and so far every meal hes eaten has been a winner.

i know he could just cook himself some meat while i cooked my meal, but i love cooking for him and i love sitting down together to eat. my disclaimer though is that i have been married now exactly one month and one day, so were pretty much doing everything for each other and acting all googly eyed at it all, haha.

I am a vegetarian and the primary cook in my house, while my husband is an omnivore. He eats what I make, and if he wants meat, he cooks it himself. I’m lucky that he is very willing to try out all the veggie things that I make, though he is still dubious about tofu. I’m really happy that since we moved in together, he has gone from eating meat every single night to only a few times a month.

I am a vegetarian and my boyfriend is not. We don’t do much cooking together, but I am happy to make him a steak now and then. Cooking with meat does bother me a little bit, but I love to cook and the satisfaction of seeing someone enjoy a meal that I made, regardless of what’s in it, is worth it, IMO. Also, if I am cooking meat for him, he will buy it – so I’m not technically “voting” with MY consumer dollars (which is a big part of the reason why I myself am a vegetarian).

That said, if we lived together and he wanted me to cook meat for him a lot, I would probably just teach him to do it himself. Not because I don’t agree with it, just because it would get tiresome to always cook something I wasn’t going to eat! Usually though, when I make meat for him, it’s as a supplement to a vegetarian dish that I’ve made for the two of us. This ends up being a pretty good compromise – I feel like I’m expanding his horizons with healthier food and he doesn’t have to give up what he likes 🙂

Been thinking about going veg lately, or at least mostly. So will check the posts out, thanks Caitlin!

I haven’t read all the comments yet (cause I should be studying) but this is an interesting topic. I live with my parents and sometimes my older brother, and I don’t eat meat and never make meat for them (they do eat meat). Usually I don’t cook specifically for everyone, so I will make myself a veg stirfry, and everyone eats it, but because I made it for me, there isn’t any meat. If I was making a meal specifically for them I might consider putting some meat in it but sometimes they make meat and add it to meals I made for themselves

I’ve been a vegetarian for 10 years now and with my boyfriend for two. He was a little thrown off by my lifestyle at first. Now he’ll eat whatever I make him. If he wants meat in addition to my meals he usually just makes it himself. He doesn’t ever ask me to do it for him because he knows I’d rather not do it. However, I don’t mind buying the meat or cooking it if he’s not able. If he’s home, though, he comes to the kitchen and cuts it up for me and puts it in the pan. That’s love.

I told my husband if he wants to eat any meat, he can make it himself. He grills his own beef hot dogs and grills my veggie dogs for me. He makes himself grilled chicken and I have a Quorn chicken. We eat meatless chicken nuggets … it all works out! I just make my own thing if he bought or is preparing a meat item for him (usually this only happens on the grill.) I did buy him some Brunswick Stew at a church festival. He ate it for dinner Sunday and I had pea soup! Win-win! Everyone’s happy. He wants to make a seafood gumbo but I told him that’s not going to fly. I can’t stand the smell of seafood! So if he can’t cook it on the grill, I’m not a fan of it being cooked in our home, but he is welcome to go to his mother’s and use her kitchen 🙂 I’m actually very lucky that he is so supportive. He eats all of my ‘weird food’ and ‘weird food combos’ and actually enjoys it!

What an interesting thought. I hadn’t really considered that since I’m the homemaker, and cook, that I should/could/may or may not impose my dietary restrictions, or choices on the other members of my family. I am a veg for a multitude of reasons, but the one that I feel most strongly about is the hormones and antibiotics that most livestock are injected with, making most American meat unsafe. I rarely cook meat in our house because my husband generally eats out of the house due to his work, and so I cook mostly for myself and my 2 year old. However, on “family nights” or weekends, or even family get togethers, I cook what will make people happy, and in our big Italian family, that often includes meat. That said, I try my very best to only cook hormone and antibiotic free meats, so that I know what I’m serving is safe.

The long and short of it is, I think of food as love when youre cooking for people in your home, and I want them to feel happy, at home, and comforted. Not judged, or bad about their choices. Now, if only more people would make as much of an effort for us lonely Vegs out there!!

I have been a vegetarian the entire time my husband has been with me, so he was really used to eating meat-free. He was free to buy lunchmeat for his sandwiches or chicken if he wanted to cook it for himself. If we eat with others it is usually a potluck so people bring whatever they want. If they want to eat meat, they can make it, but I won’t cook it.

After watching Forks Over Knives with me though he has cut out meat almost entirely, and has cut out dairy completely.

In my house I sometimes make meat for my family. I’m not thrilled about doing it but because I’ve only been vegetarian for 9 mos my 3 daughters have all had meat. Since they eat very little to begin with I will give them the few kinds of meats they like. My reasons for going veg are more health-related than ethical, though I feel that is a bonus b/c I’m certainly not thrilled with animals being killed for food. I regularly make about 4 meatless meals a week and 1 meal that contains meat (not for me of course). So by default my family is eating a lot less meat. I’d love it if they eventually all decided to go meatless with me but I’m not forcing them to do so. Luckily my girls are not huge meat eaters to begin with.

I’m a day late, but – I’ve been the primary cook for our entire (13 year) relationship. He has watched me try vegetarian, paleo, gluten free, and assorted other food variations. I say watched, because in the end, over 13 years, I have been able to get him to try a few different dishes, but at heart, he’s a 55 YO meat & potatoes kind of guy.

I don’t feel it’s fair to try to change him when he’s in good health and at a healthy weight, and happy eating the way he does. If I’m making changes for MY health, then I will make different dishes for myself while I cook “normal” for him.

I am a little bit behind on this post and responding, but had to throw my two cents in.

There are a few things in the question that bug me:
I went veg a little over a year ago…
My husband is a pretty adventurous eater and hasn’t said much… until now.
I’ve always been the cook in our relationship…
The deal has been since going veg that he can cook his own meat…

So prior to going veg, you were also a meat eater, preparing meat for the both of you.
You said he is adventurous and hasn’t said much.
I am curious, did you and your husband have a discussion over him cooking his own meat? Or was it an assumption or rule you made?

I am actually for the most part a “cook’s rule” type person, in that you are going to eat what I fix, or fix yourself something else. However, if I were to make a serious change in my eating habits/patterns that would affect my fiance, I would sit down and have a discussion over how that would affect him and how we would handle it.

Now, with all that said…
I think you are perfectly in your right to not cook meat if you are making that change for yourself, but your husband deserves a discussion on what his responsibilities will be, and what you will do. Which might include buying meat for him, but having him do the cooking.

I’m currently single, but I’ve been a vegetarian for years and I’ve always taken the “you want it, you cook it” approach. I like cooking and I think there’s something kind of old school enjoyable about making a man dinner, but I don’t have the desire or the knowledge to cook meat. I’m a pretty good cook, but it’s a skill I developed after becoming a vegetarian. The only boyfriend I’ve ever lived with was a vegetarian prior to us meeting, but nobody I’ve dated since has complained about eating my food. I don’t lecture or try to convert anyone, and if you want to add meat to your portion of things I make that’s fine, but you’ll have to buy and make it yourself. To me that seems fair.