I'm sorry that the experience wasn't what you had hoped for. I know what you mean by being competitive with yourself..I am the same way. I also agree with you about it being an emotional week. Think of all the change you have had…whether we think it does or not, things like that REALLY affect our physical selves. I am super proud of you for all the progress you have made. You WILL keep improving your times…that I know! Keep your chin up. (hugs)

It sounds like you might be training too hard or even overthinking everything. Just got out there and run, have a good time, and do the best you can. It sounds like you are putting too much pressure on yourself. Sometimes you just have an off day.

I think it's partially because you're just getting up there in the number of races you've done. Statistically, you can't expect to PR every single time. I'm sure there are other factors (injury, dehydration). But as a runner, I'm starting to get to that point where I'm not beating PRs every time, just because I done the distance so many times already. Being able to get out there and participate with friends is an amazing experience in itself! Hope you're recovering okay 🙂

All that matters is that you made it through it and had a good time! Don't stress too much over it!

I'm sorry that you're bummed out 🙁 Not running as fast or as well as you'd like is disappointing. Next week I'm running a 1/2 marathon and I'm prettyyyy sure it's going to be a solid 15-20 mins slower than my PR (seriously). I've been injured for the better part of 2009, so for now I'm just focusing on how happy I am to be running again. I recently started a gratitude journal and it is helping me see the positive! It looks like you have a great group of supportive friends and a loving husband PLUS you're no longer in pain – have another cookie and cheer up 🙂

(hug)

Halfway through reading, I was thinking, "No wonder! She's been stressed and crazy busy these past few weeks and had a terrible long run recently and has so much going on!" Props for finishing! Seriously! You should be really proud!

I just want to echo what everyone else has said really. I'm so sorry the race didn't go as well as you wanted, and I know this is easy for me to say, but try not to beat yourself up about it too much. Your running hiatus has obviously affecting your running – but that's normal. The fact you can still run 15 kilometres in a fantastic time (yes it was fantastic!) is amazing. Actually, the very fact you can race on top of everything else in your busy schedule is pretty damn inspirational. The more you run, the better your times will get. Look at all these races as practise for the marathon that you're going to rock 🙂

Caitlin,

I know you are frustrated, but you did a great job! You may have just started out too fast. That, I have been told, can really, really impact you for the remainder of the race. Sometimes you just have a bad race/run. It is still hard to have a positive attitude after it, though. I think you need to just focus on going forward. Don't dwell on this. It does not define who you are. Chin up!!

Caitlin, I know you're disappointed with your performance, not because it was bad, but because you expected more from yourself. I just want to tell you that I think you did awesome, even if you don't think so yourself. Just a few short months ago, you started running again after a long layoff. You are just getting back into your groove and it's going to take some time to work out the kinks. I have been out injured for 9 months now. Having just gotten the green light from my doctor to resume physical activity (since I am healed), I am slowly returning to running. In fact before I can run I need to spend 5 weeks just walking (2-3 miles at a time). My first "run" will be on October 12th and I will only be allowed to run for 30 seconds at a time. I am scared to see how much endurance and speed I have lost once I am able to run again. I look upon you as an inspiration – your experiences coming back gives me confidence & makes me feel not so alone. It is definitely hard to watch all my friends out run me, but I also know that they haven't been through what I have. The last 9 months have definitely taught me patience & how to persevere. Keep your chin up and give yourself a break. You will get back to where you were before and you will then be able to start shattering your old PR's. What you went through made you a stronger person and runner- you will soon reap the rewards from your difficult journey. I just KNOW it!!

Sorry this was so long as usual! 🙂

I'm sorry you're so bummed! But I think you're great and inspiring..seriously! I know you're going to be feeling blah today and that's okay..at least it'll push you to continue competing with yourself and just realizing how great it is to be able to run! 🙂 I had to remind myself that a lot today. It was so fun meeting you and the girls and I really hope to hang out soon. Oh and there was only one water station in the 5k and I desperately needed at least one more. I thought it was strange! But it was only 3 miles and you kicked a 9-milers butt! Congratulations on running and finishing a race! 🙂 Smile today. You deserve it.

You did great!
Not too long ago you almost thought you would have to quit running all together and today you ran a 15K! You came through injury to run a 15K and now are training for a Marathon – keep it in perspective!

It takes longer than we'd like to bounce back from time off of running. If I take one week of for vacation I come back to slower times and harder miles. You are still coming back from where you were a year ago when you ran this race, but the great news is you will get there!

Running is not easy. Give yourself credit. Enjoy every mile 🙂 One day you're going to be too knocked up/old/out of town/other and not be able to run. So have fun with it. Training and running will always have ups and downs, it's part of the journey.

I know you wanted to beat (or come close to) your PR, but I still think you did amazing. You finished, and it seems like you ran into a bump with dehydration, which will definitely throw anyone's game off. I know it still bums you out, but look on the bright side: you are an inspiration & motivation to SO MANY people for just doing the race (and finishing) and doing what you love, even when you've been faced with some obstacles (the knee pain). In fact, as someone who has been *trying* to run (ahem, power walking with jogging spurts in between), I was thinking of all the amazing bloggers running races this morning and it inspired me to get out there. You rock, Caitlin!

I know you're bummed about the race but I just want to say congrats anyway! You ran a 15k girl! Don't get so down on yourself. I know it stinks and it's hard right now to think of anything other than how poorly you THINK you did, but you really did great. Obviously, due to your injuries, you're not the same runner you were last time you ran this race. It takes a while to bounce back and get back into your groove. Don't beat yourself up because you're not there yet. Don't let this get you down!! You finished, you had fun with your friends, and you had barney butter. I'm pretty jealous.
Cheer up and have a FANTASTIC day Caitlin!!!!

I don't want to pull out the "but you are such a good runner" card, but I can't help it. Maybe I don't know what its like because i'm not in your shoes and I didn't run a race today but I want you to know that what you did today was something a lot of people only dream of. You ran, you raced, and in my opinion I think you did a great job… hang in there and I hope you start to feel better about it soon!

I hope that you have bounced back from your post-race blues, and realized that you are still doing awesome!
I had a very similar experience with my training run this morning. It was my last long run before I start my two taper weeks prior to my first half-marathon. I started out doing great and then started feeling super fatigued after mile 6. I stopped for water at mile 7 and kept on, by mile 8 I was walking (i never walk). Each time I would try to start running again, I just didn't have the energy. I cried, even prayed a little for the strength to push through 5 more miles. In the end, my body won over my mind and I called it quits. For some reason, my body was not up to it today and I just had to accept that. I was frustrated but also very proud of myself for doing what I was able to and not being disappointed that I could not do the run that was planned on paper.
Keep your chin up and enjoy the rest of your weekend.

I think not having the normal time to dedicate and focus on running always takes the toll. Even mastering the art of prioritization can't nix the fact that you have a lot on your plate. You should be really proud of yourself 🙂

Sarah

it's definitely hard to be happy with finishing a tough race when you know you've run faster. But I seem to recall you've had quite a past few months 😉 you've been going hard on all fronts, and taking SO many positive steps in your life that there is so much to be proud of! you'll be knocking off seconds before you know it 🙂

It sounds like you tried your hardest! I'm sure you were stressed out, maybe you were tired or hadn't done enough speedwork or started out too fast — a million things can get in the way of a perfectly food race. But you persevered! I've had that feeling of tingly, goosebumpy arms before too…

OH – and I also wanted to say that I think this is the perfect example of how our bodies can really surprise us and sometimes we just don't know how they are going to react. I'm glad you didn't push yourself!

Despite feeling so shitty about how things went, the pics sure look great!

Caitlin, you are AMAZING! The most I ever was able to run was a 5K so your training and accomplishments are inspiring to me, especially in light of revealing this week all that you have had on your plate. Maybe sometimes we learn more from our disappointments than our accomplishments? I know I do!

Caitlin, I'm really sorry you had a bad experience this morning. I ran a mountain trail run last Saturday (10.6 miles, 7,600 feet elevation up to 9,600 feet) and had to walk A LOT and was feeling down and dejected afterwards …
The worst part was that I was so sore after that I couldn't run again until yesterday. (Insert dreaded elliptical. Ha.) I literally went into a sort of depression and had all these negative thoughts about myself all week … Then yesterday I realized on my run (4.5 miles by myself along a river) why I run — FOR ME. Not for races (which sometimes are awesome but sometimes aren't) not for PRs (which are also awesome, but they aren't everything), not for competition (though I am competitive, he he) but for me — for those moments alone on a run when my thoughts, worries, dreams, whatever, come and I can literally run them away. When I am running I don't have the time/energy/ability to think give my thoughts as much attention as I otherwise would, and that gives them a clarity that I can't find otherwise. That is why I run. And I'd venture to guess that that part of why you run too. Everybody suffers "bad" runs or races sometimes, but you'll have good runs (regardless of your time/speed — I mean mentally) again because YOU ARE A RUNNER. That doesn't go away with one bad run/race. I learned that this week too.

🙂

P.S. Sorry for the novel. A lot to say, I guess. Ha.

Everyone else said what I wanted to say and probably more eloquently!

I'm sorry you're bummed.

Just remember-you can RUN! So many people can't even do just that. Even people that can't simply walk. You've come so far, and in the scope of every race you've ever ran and will ever run, what's this one going to matter? In 50 years, you won't be remembering this race, you'll be remembering the ones where you felt amazing and strong!

http://www.thenaturalterp.wordpress.com

I'm sorry you didn't have a great experience but you are awesome and you have all of us bloggers supporting you! And like that anon commenter said, "My definition of a great "anything" is someone who has ups and downs. A person who strives for the best but realizes that there will be times where things just don't work out the way we intended."

Very well said.

I don't want to echo what everyone else said but you definitely have a lot of fans 🙂

I'm sorry the race did not go as well as planned. Everyone has good days and bad days, but you probably already know that. Just a few weeks ago, I was running slower than ever yet I was putting in all the work. For me, the problem was overtraining so I cut down on my double days and things turned around. I don't know what the issue could be for you…but for what it's worth, I will tell to you to just try and stay positive and stick with your training, because eventually, you'll have a good running day again and you'll PR again. I know it's frusturating to not be working up to the level that you know you're at…I know, I've been there…but you just need to keep on keeping on. Running is a blessing! Try to enjoy being active and healthy as much as you can! Sending much love and positive vibes you're way!
Sincerely,
Liz

Hey hon –
I'm sorry that your race didn't go just as you'd hoped or expected. It's a hard thing, but sometimes our bodies just have better runs than other days. And there's no reason for it. We can rest, train, and fuel properly, but a 3 mile run could feel harder than a wonderful 10 mile run. Don't ask me why our bodies do that to us – sometimes they do. What's important is that you RAN IT. Just like you said – it's such a great thing that you could finish that distance. It's hard to compare yourself to how you were in the past. But every situation is different. Chin up girl! Keep chugging along – you have a huge race coming up that will lift your spirits so much!!

Caitlin- congratulations on finishing the race! I know it wasn't what you wanted. I'm coming back from an injury and i understand how frustrating it can be when your times aren't as fast as they once were. just try to keep in mind how far you have come in other things and remember that we all have bad days. It WILL get better!

– Krista

Caitlin, You have been doing soooo much in the last few months! Stress has all kinds of effects, including just exhausting our bodies. I think that in order to move on and not let this way on you is to say "If things were calm in my life right now and all I had to focus on was running, then I would be running faster. But given EVERYTHING I am dealing with, my body is doing pretty damn well." Be proud!
As someone who has soo much on my plate right now, I feel like my body just gives out on me more. I'm more achy, tired, and always feel like I could be getting sick. So to think of running a 15K, even if I was a runner and trained for it, would be verrrry hard right now.
I admire you and I hope you don't let this get you down. You are awesome and just know that when things settle down and you can focus on running again, your body will be stronger and more relaxed and you will be faster! 🙂

Caitlin,
I think you did GREAT!!! You are coming off of an injury, and there is only SO much your body can do without getting re-injured! Just be thankful your knees are doing so great and you were STILL able to finish with an awesome time!

Just remember you didn't quit. Focus on that. You were determined to finish and you did. And there is nothing wrong with being competitive with yourself. We all do it. I say, just keep doing what you are doing. You'll push through this, just like you did your injury.

I'm so sorry you didn't do as well as you had hoped. But what you DID accomplish is so amazing, with all your big life changes coming up! You've been a very very busy woman, so the fact that you ran a 15K at all is awesome!

Oh Caitlin…so sorry to hear it was a rough race day for you. At least you're positive about being physically able to run, and to experience it with your friends. But that doesn't completely temper the disappointment. Reading your blog has helped me remember that being halfway around the world in a place I physically can't manage distance running is only temporary and one day I'll be back stateside so a-run , b-work on PR's and c-run with friends again.

Enjoy all the exciting new changes in your life and remember you're still a rockstar!

You probably had one of the craziest weeks of your life!! Totally understandable if you were a little distracted during the race. Please don't be hard on yourself, all of your readers are SO proud of you for what you have accomplished. It is SO inspiring to me to see you run a 9.4 mile race after having such bad runner's knee! It gives me hope that I will one day be able to run that far again too 🙂

You are going to rock your marathon this January!

I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your honesty! I had a bad run last week and it really got me down. I think it's easy to forget that it happens to everyone sometimes. I personally thought a lot about your coworker's comment that you tweeted. Thinking of it that way, what would have been bad was if you'd never been in the race at all! You rock Caitlin!

I'm like you, very competitive with myself and I'm sorry you're disappointed in your race but if that's how you feel then let yourself feel like that for a bit and just remember that you rock!

You're not defined by a number or a time, you are your effort and, perseverance – things you demonstrate in spades every day… keep rocking it!

Sorry about the not so great race. I am trying really hard myself not to be super negative about my half tomorrow, but my hip hurts, it's supposed to rain and i've barely trained enough. like you, i am just going to try my best to be positive.

Hangry Heather

Hey Caitlin, I really don't think that 7 min above your PR is so bad, given the circumstances. The other day when I was reading about all the changes in your life, I thought to myself: how does this girl even stay up on her feet? I would just crash and burn after a while if I had so many things going on in my life. So the fact that you even went out to run 15k (and that is far!) is amazing!
Don't be too hard on yourself, you did great! Something you might consider next time is start off with 9 min miles if you hope to run 9 min miles. Then you might be able to keep your pace the whole time instead of getting tired because you have run too fast (even though you may feel great) at the start.
Have a great sunday, and rest!

I am sorry you had a difficult race. I was the SAME way last Sunday. It was awful and discouraging. I just reminded myself that we have bad runs and we have good runs and that is just the way it is.

You did a great job after coming off an injury even if it is hard for you to see that now! It is just a bump in the road and you are very resilient, so you will bounce back from this mentally for sure.

Not being hydrated played a huge role for sure, I know with me that was the case, I almost passed out as well during my race. Lesser people would have just quit! Cheer up ::hugs::

Thank YOU for being such an HONEST blogger. I'm sorry you didn't meet your goal, but you learned a lot, I think (dehydration to start out, listening to your body, and remembering that having supportive friends is the best thing).

I love the first picture you posted, even though this wasn't your best race, you were totally in the moment, showing us that famous "Caitlin Frown". You rock, no matter what!

I'm so sorry that your race did not go as well as you had hoped. I think that with as busy as you have been though, you are doing awesome just to keep training! The speed will come back, it just takes time.