A Hellish Half Marathon

on September 20, 2009

With the exception of a few injury-inducing runs and runs during which I peed myself/vomited, I think I can say that this was one of the worst runs ever.

I know I have a reputation of being Mrs. Brightside (and I really am like that in real life). But just like everyone, I had my bad days. And today was one of those days.

The run had all the makings of a good run. I prepped all my gear last night:

And prepped all my liquids (water in my CamelBak, iced coffee, and coconut water, which I got at the local grocery store):

However, when I set my alarm clock, I did the old "PM instead of AM" mistake. So I missed my run with Megan and Meghann and woke up to 8 missed calls at 7:00 AM.

I felt so bad for missing my run (there is nothing worse than waiting for someone before a group run) that I had a little crying fit this morning. I knew I still had to do my long run, but I didn’t want to do it alone.

Before I left, I had 1/2 the Coconut Water and a bagel with almond butter and blackberry jam.

I set out around 7:30 AM and grudgingly did a Half Marathon. I was suppose to do 12.0 miles, but I figured why not just do a half?

Honestly, I don’t even want to recap the actual run. I felt like I was running as fast as I could, but I would look down and see that my pace was 11:00 or 12:00-something. It was pathetic. I cried more than once during the run, took multiple walking breaks, and generally just wanted it to be OVER.

I took a Goo at mile 8:

Here are my statistics:

Duration: 2 hour, 23 minutes
Distance: 13.1 miles (Half Marathon)

Considering that I have ran not one, but TWO half marathons in 2:05, the fact that it took me 2:23 to run a half today is very, very upsetting.

I came home, drank the other half of my Coconut Water, took a shower, and ate breakfast number two:

Granola, yogurt, flax, and a banana.

On the brightside:

I ran a long distance and am happy with this week’s mileage total (26.1)
My knees don’t hurt (yet)
I am running. Period.
I’m going to see my grandpa, aunt, uncle, and nieces today. Yay!

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer. Even I cannot be in a good mood ALL the time. :) Regular Happy Caitlin will return tonight, I promise.

{ 81 comments }

recipesforcreativity September 20, 2009, 7:39 am
Aw, it's okay Caitlin! I know when you're feeling better you'll be totally impressed by yourself – you still did a huge distance even though the circumstances sucked, go you!

I don't mind if you're a debbie downer sometimes, anyways 🙂
Meganerd September 20, 2009, 7:48 am
It's okay, Caitlin. I love you!

I'm not mad that you weren't there this morning, just sad. I was looking forward to your cheerful self pumping me up! 😉
danielle September 20, 2009, 7:48 am
No worries 🙂 Some runs just suck sometimes, and you have to remind yourself that the next one will be better. We can't always have good runs! Congrats on going out and getting in 13.1 anyway!
Becky September 20, 2009, 7:53 am
As someone who has always hated running (I'm pretty fit, but plain running is a HUGE struggle for me), I can't tell you how IMPRESSED I am that you can even make it that far. Seriously. I think sometimes people who do it all the time forget how INCREDIBLE it is that they can go such a distance in ANY amount of time!

And it sounds like you pushed through a lot of circumstances that could have easily made you say, "Eh, not today." That's great, and even though it's totally fine to feel crappy, you shouldn't be hard on yourself!
Kristen @ frostingandfroth.com September 20, 2009, 7:54 am
You should be proud of yourself for going out there and doing the run, regardless of your pace! I don't think I would have had the dedication to go at it on my own. You rock! 🙂
Jenna September 20, 2009, 7:56 am
aww its okay caitlin! everyone has those days, it is not a problem!
i mean you ran 13 miles today, that is awesome!
have fun today with your fam!
jenna
Anonymous September 20, 2009, 7:56 am
Caitlin, darling, you weren't RACING this time — your long runs are supposed to be 60-90 sec/mile slower than race pace! If you are shooting for a sub-2-hour half marathon, your time sounds perfect for a good training run! I just read an article on RW (or somewhere similar), and the running guru advised that THE most common training mistake is running the long ones too fast. I know it felt terrible for you, but you honestly did yourself a favor!
joey September 20, 2009, 8:02 am
I think you need to remember, that this is supposed to be fun. It's not a job, it's not a "have to". If you aren't feeling it, turn around and go home! Protecting your body/spirit is way more important. You aren't competing. Remember why you do it1
Anonymous September 20, 2009, 8:07 am
Also, the girls did 12 miles in just over 2 hours, and you did 13.1 in just over 2 hours, 20 minutes — the pace really isn't far off, anyway.

My half race pace is 8:30-8:40, and I run my long runs at 9:30-10:00. Give yourself some credit, girl!
Justine September 20, 2009, 8:10 am
Awesome job on getting out there and doing 13.1 all by yourself! Sorry you missed the long run with Megan & Meghann though…I'm sure it's frustrating. Either way, you got in a great long run! And don't be down about the pace…this wasn't a race, it was a training run. And those should be run at a slower pace anyway! Hope the rest of your day is enjoyable!
Ada September 20, 2009, 8:10 am
Ugh I hate it when that happens! I recently started setting two alarms (my cell phone and regular one) to ensure that doesn't occur. Don't worry, though, everyone has bad runs!
Nicole September 20, 2009, 8:15 am
You still did great, Caitlin!! You ran 13 miles, and that RULES!
Dayna September 20, 2009, 8:20 am
Caitlin, I think you did great! Despite the fact that you had to do this run without your partners you pushed through it and did it anyways, which makes you amazing and wonderful. I hope the rest of your day gets better. You should just think about your accomplishment this morning and smile….you just ran a half marathon! 🙂
D
sarah September 20, 2009, 8:21 am
it's okay to have a SUCKY run every once in a while — it happens to all of us! it just makes the good runs more rewarding/fun. and HUGE props to you for getting out there despite missing your wake up call — i can imagine myself just bagging the whole thing. it was probably really hot, too!

you will rock your next one!
Karen September 20, 2009, 8:24 am
You still got out there and did your long run (and then some!) so that's awesome!

Plus, I've found that my training runs are generally slower than my races…so don't be too upset about your time!
Ryan @ Greens for Good September 20, 2009, 8:27 am
We all have bad days! If it had been me I probably wouldn't have had the perseverance to go and do it on my own, so good for you! AND you were 0.1 miles away from marathon distance for the week! Woooo! 🙂
Leah September 20, 2009, 8:27 am
I think sucky runs make the good runs so much better! I think its so awesome that you got out there and did even more than you were supposed to! last weekend I was supposed to do an 11 miler, and it was the worst run of my life, and I stopped at 7 miles…I regretted it so much, but this morning I did 11.5 and it was so amazing, that it made up for it. The bad runs totally make you appreciate the good ones, and they make you stronger!!
Jessica September 20, 2009, 8:31 am
Caitlin, I was pushed to the limit in high school cross country — my coach had me run 60 miles the first week on the team. I felt great that week and then it went down hill from there and I haven't been able to run in years. You are so lucky you can run AT ALL. I live vicariously through you — stay positive!
MelissaNibbles September 20, 2009, 8:31 am
Oh, I've been there. The important thing is that you finished. Don't be so hard on yourself. Keep your head up!
K from ksgoodeats September 20, 2009, 8:31 am
Aw, man! Sorry to hear about the bad run. This bad experience will just make your next run feel 10x better though!
Thinspired September 20, 2009, 8:34 am
I saw the tweets this morning and I am so sorry 🙁 I knew you would do it though, and really, that is what is important. Most people I know, including probably me, would not have gone on the run after feeling so emotional and upset. I am so, so impressed with your character.
Mica September 20, 2009, 8:36 am
Aw, we all have these runs! Don't let it get you down today. Just hope that next one is better.
Julia September 20, 2009, 8:37 am
I'm so sorry about your cruddy run, but so proud of you for pushing through and finishing it.
I had a really bad first double digits run yesterday. The last 3 miles part of what kept me going was repeating the mantras I have read on your blog…I don't think I could have finished the run without them.
What I appreciate most about your blog is your honesty, I love that you share when you have a bad day or a bad run. So please don't feel bad and being upset about your run.
And again congrats on running the 13.1 miles! You are fabulous!
Jolene - EverydayFoodie September 20, 2009, 8:38 am
Aww it's okay 🙂 You still blow my mind being able to run that distance at all – I am doing the C25K program and am finding that to be torture!

Just think – even after your day starting out crappy, you didn't give up! You went out there and did it alone, with no fans cheering you on like in a race, and without the regular adrenalin you would have on race day … so I think your time is pretty darn good girl!!!
Nicci@NiftyEats September 20, 2009, 8:40 am
It's okay Caitlin, we all have days like that. hope you feel better on your next run.
Niki September 20, 2009, 8:44 am
Aww, I hate sucky runs but we all have them! Good job on finishing even though it was tough!
Tami September 20, 2009, 8:50 am
it's done, you covered the distance and you will do better next time.

my first 20 mile run while training for my marathon was horrible. i was like 14 miles from home and i was nearly in tears! but i just ran another 20 miler yesterday and it was my best long run ever.
Rosey Rebecca September 20, 2009, 8:52 am
Don't stress about it. You still got a run in and everybody has off days. I do the whole pm instead am alarm thing all the time. Feel better!
foodieinthecity September 20, 2009, 8:55 am
Aww, I'm sorry you had a rough morning. 🙁

But you are already being back to your positive self. You listed reasons why you should be grateful and happy for it! Many (most of the human population) probably couldn't even run 13.1 miles, and you just rocked it. Way to go chica!
Joelle (The Pancake Girl) September 20, 2009, 8:58 am
It's okay, girl. Everyone- EVERYONE- has a bad day once in a while, and def a bad run. It happens. 🙂
Allie September 20, 2009, 9:03 am
I say great job for pushing through what was a mentally tough run! As a fellow runner, it's actually comforting to know that the longer training runs aren't always easy for everyone- and honestly, some days 6 miles feels like 16 to me!! Thanks for being honest!
Amanda (Two Boos Who Eat) September 20, 2009, 9:03 am
You just need to remember that you did it! A lot of people would have just not gone by themselves. (I know I wouldn't!) You should be proud that you continued on after a rough morning!
greensandjeans September 20, 2009, 9:04 am
We have all been there! Regardless, you got out and ran a half marathon! That alone is awesome! A couple weeks ago I was supposed to run a 10k with a good friend of mine and I slept through all 3 alarms I set and countless phone calls from her and her husband. Needless to say, I felt horrible, but these things do happen!
Anonymous September 20, 2009, 9:04 am
I know in the running world it's easy to become hyper-critical of yourself, and to get down with things don't go as planned. But I think this post sort of begs a reality check… YOU RAN A HALF-MARATHON TODAY. Success story. Period.

The day after my marathon, I was so hung up on my time results (cuz I ran the first half with a slower buddy) that I was immediately on the Internet trying to find my next marathon to get a better time in the next month or two. Plane tickets, calendars, research on back-to-back marathon safety, etc… I went into a mania because of one minute aspect of my marathon experience. People had to pull me aside and say, "Honey, you just ran the New York City marathon." A year prior, I'd never run further than a mile! It took time but eventually I was able to celebrate my accomplishment, and to this day I think back on it when doubting myself for whatever reason.

YOU ARE A BAD-ASS RUNNER GIRL WHO JUST BANGED OUT 13.1 MILES, WHERE MANY WOULD HAVE CRAWLED BACK IN BED. CELEBRATE!!
Beth September 20, 2009, 9:08 am
Just remember this is only a TRAINING run! When you're banging out 26.2 it's inevitable your time might be a little slower then, too – but you're still running it. We all have off days 🙂 – Beth T
Deva (Voracious Vorilee) September 20, 2009, 9:09 am
It's all okay – we all have bad days and good days. I think that it is great that you still suited up and went out for a run this morning – my kudos to you 🙂
Sheri September 20, 2009, 9:12 am
Sorry to hear your morning did not start out the way you had planned but don't feel bad. I still think you did awesome! Man you till ran half a marathon…that totally ROCKS!
christie, honoring health September 20, 2009, 9:13 am
Aw, I am sorry your run sucked. Even still, I think you are a running rock star. I mean, how many people were laying on their butts this morning while you were out fighting the food fight, ya know?
Carol September 20, 2009, 9:14 am
Wow…I would be f&^%ing thrilled to finish a Half in 2:23! My PB for a Half is 2:40, so you still beat me by 20 minutes for such an "awful run"! Get off the bitter bus and appreciate the fact that you actually CAN ran…many people can not, and that's what keeps me putting one foot in front of the other – even this morning in the rain, in pain.
I think 2:23 is a commendable time, and unless you were trying out for the Olympics, perfectly acceptable.
Great job…you rock…you are still awesome…
Graze With Me September 20, 2009, 9:16 am
I think you are AMAZING regardless of how fast/how much you run. You are a runner. Period. I think that is pretty damn inspirational no matter what.

I've always wanted to be a runner. Well, besides that little issue of me hating to actually RUN. 🙂 I think your levels of motivation to be the best you can be is pretty impressive. I enjoy reading all your posts, even the Debbie Downers ones. We're all human right?

Have a good day!
Hi! I'm Erin September 20, 2009, 9:19 am
Been there, felt that. The second time I ever attempted a half-marathon distance I bonked hard, cried, and walked. I was so upset.

Just know you're not alone and it's okay to be disappointed and upset about a bad run.
Susan September 20, 2009, 9:24 am
Don't be too hard on yourself Caitlin. We're all bound to have bad runs some days, it's statistically impossible not to! 😛 Some people wouldn't even be able to walk a half marathon. Running one, even with the crying and walking, is still something to be proud of!!
Lauren September 20, 2009, 9:30 am
Aw, I'm sorry that you were upset with your run. While it can be hard to take comfort in generalities, just remember that we have ALL been there. Don't let this run get you down too much. You're doing great!

In the future, if you're comfortable with doing so, don't feel obligated to complete a long run just because it is part of your training plan. I've learned (the hard way) that it is MUCH better to do a decent 6 or 7 mile run than to force yourself to do a half marathon, or longer, distance. Running is physically and mentally challenging (often taxing), but it shouldn't leave you feeling depressed or defeated. You can *always* do your long run at another point, when you're in a better frame of mind for it. I know how difficult it can be to alter your training plans (you can begin to feel like they're immutable), but it is more than "allowed," and often beneficial.

Hope you feel better!
Kathleen September 20, 2009, 9:41 am
Oh sweetie! Everyone has their off days and you're entitled to one for yourself. The important thing is that you pulled it together, *ran* (forget the times, you did the miles!) and found some things to be positive at the end of the post. Sometimes, a girl just needs a venting session 🙂 Keep your chin up, you're fabulous!
Jenn Eats Nutritiously Now September 20, 2009, 9:44 am
What you did was HUGE! You woke up late and STILL went on the run! You should be so proud of yourself 🙂
Kristin - runningsongs.wordpress.com September 20, 2009, 9:57 am
There's lots of smart words in these comments!!!

Chin up – you've got lots of really good runs and lots of really bad runs in your legs yet. These are the kind of runs that make you stronger!
Food Makes Fun Fuel September 20, 2009, 10:08 am
You ran further than most people will walk over the weekend and there was a time when you would have laughed at the idea that you'd run that much. Be proud of yourself and what you did.
Kelly September 20, 2009, 10:21 am
You should not feel like you have to be happy all the time 🙂
Also, 2:23 for a half that is not a race is not terrible! Obviously during an actual race you are going to be a lot faster and you had already started the day off tough so it's okay!
Kristie Lynn September 20, 2009, 10:24 am
You know, your actual *race* times should be significantly quicker than when you are just doing a weekend long run. Don't beat yourself up over it!
FoodCents September 20, 2009, 10:45 am
Caitlin, you are only human. Crappy moods happen to even the cheeriest of people. Sometimes the forces of the universe just work against us on random days.
Kaye September 20, 2009, 10:57 am
Hey Caitlin! That's barely over 15 minutes difference and this is just a practice run! I've been reading for a while, and not too long ago, you weren't able to run because of your knees.
You weren't feeling it, but you still got out the door, what more could you ask for, right?

<3
k September 20, 2009, 11:02 am
We all have terrible runs! There are good runs, bad runs, and TERRIBLE runs. Just remember that the terrible ones are usually few and far between and they only make you STRONGER. You pushed through it and you will get out there and run your next training run.

Good job. And don't be down on yourself for too long.
Orla September 20, 2009, 11:04 am
Caitlin, at least you DID it!! I went out to do 10 this morning and completely wussed out and headed back to my car after I had stopped at 5.5 miles for a gel/water break. Yeah, I was tired, and it was tough, but I still should have soldiered on.

You should give yourself props for having the mental strength for doing it!! Crap runs happen to everyone 🙂
Matt September 20, 2009, 11:04 am
Sometimes runs like that happen. It happens to me all the time. The best thing you can do is pick yourself up and get back out there tomorrow.
Frannie September 20, 2009, 11:22 am
Horrible runs make the great runs feel sooo much better. You're a trooper for pulling through. And remember that once you were told you would never run without pain ever again….look at you now. 18 minutes of extra time on a 1/2 mar is worth running to me at least.
Nicole September 20, 2009, 11:37 am
You know what? I have bad runs ever so often too. In fact, I had one this summer. I had just gotten back from the states, had really bad jetlag, and was really dehydrated. I was determined to run 7 miles when I got back. The run did not go well, and I was running 12 min miles. My body just was not cooperating. And I ended up running my last half marathon at an 8:26 pace the whole way through a week ago. 😉

ONE BAD RUN WON'T DETERMINE HOW FAST YOU WILL RUN YOUR HALF MARATHON. I'm a good example of that! 🙂
Deb (Smoothie Girl Eats Too) September 20, 2009, 11:53 am
Crud, we all have bad days- you're entitled!! You really must have needed the sleep!
Deb
healthy ashley September 20, 2009, 11:55 am
So sorry about your crappy (feeling) run. From the outside, it's not bad at all! You ran at a respectable pace and you ran a freakin' half in FLorida's heat! Good job- even if you're upset about how it turned out now!
angieinatlanta September 20, 2009, 12:12 pm
It's okay to be down; we've all been there at some point!

The important thing is that you did your fun; you FINISHED! You still kick booty in my book!
Jocelyn September 20, 2009, 12:18 pm
ah..well look at it this way. some people can't even run at all. You should be happy that you got out and finished that run
Kate September 20, 2009, 12:21 pm
That is how slowly you NEED to run in training. It is GREAT for your aerobic fitness, and wonderful for your endurance. I did SO many long runs for my first marathon at 11:00-12:00 pace (I was training with a friend), and I think it was one of the best things for me- I ended up rocking a 4:04 on a hilly course!

Seriously- you do not want to be running race pace on any day but race day! It is OK to run a "mental booster" pace run occasionally, to keep your cnfidence up, but you must never beat yourself up about training paces.

(sorry if this comes across as lecturey rather than cheerleader-y- it is meant to be the latter!)
Mary Sailors September 20, 2009, 12:23 pm
Bummer Caitlin!! But everyone does that alarm clock thing! And about the time you were a little unhappy with, a GF of mine before our derby bouts always said that a practice (run, time, fill in your own blank)that didn't go the way we wanted was just getting all the kinks out before the real thing! A bit of encouragement!
Kelley September 20, 2009, 12:27 pm
Hi Caitlin!! I had a bad run today too. But 11/12 minute pace isn't that bad! (actually that's a pretty good pace for me!) It's all perspective. You still rocked that half marathon with a finish time I'm envious of. There's always next week. Congrats on the impromptu half!
Jess September 20, 2009, 12:28 pm
You are human, Caitlin…I know this comes as a shock, but you are 🙂 Good for you for pushing through your 1/2 today, any run is a good run, so don't worry about your stats!
skinnyrunner September 20, 2009, 12:39 pm
as long as you got a run in, who cares about the time?! think about all the yum food you can eat to make up for the calorie deficit….
and you're doing your body so much good by exercising even when mentally it sucks.
have a great day!
Jessica September 20, 2009, 1:03 pm
That distance is incredible. I know it seems like it was a terrible run, but I'd give anything to be able to run a few miles. That is so great you made it that far!
Caitlin at Healthy Tipping Point September 20, 2009, 1:24 pm
thank you guys SOOOO much for these comments. i already felt better after lunch, but this just made me feel tremendous!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Laura September 20, 2009, 1:27 pm
It's not realistic to be optimistic ALL of the time 🙂 Like you, I feel guilty when I am not thinking positively… it's just not natural!

But it's good to look on the bright side to cheer yourself up. There's always a silver lining to be found, right?

~Laura
Backstage Pass to Health & Happiness
LauraMKE.blogspot.com
Meg C. September 20, 2009, 1:33 pm
thanks for the honesty, caitlin. crappy runs are part of what makes the good runs feel so good!

sometimes you just have to let life suck sometimes.

i am still super impressed that you went out and did the whole 12 miles… or rather, 13!
jillwillrun September 20, 2009, 2:16 pm
Don't feel bad… you're actually supposed to train at a slower pace than what you want to race at, especially for LSD runs. You got the distance (plus some) done without knee pain, so that makes you a winner!
lilveggiepatch September 20, 2009, 3:27 pm
Sorry you had a bad run. I had one of those last week, and there were some tears then as well. I think the combination of not wanting to run and running by yourself slowed you down… don't worry! You're still great 🙂
Anonymous September 20, 2009, 3:53 pm
You are an absolute inspiration. You should be so proud of yourself. Posts like today make you seem so real…i have had many tearful runs.
Caitlin at Healthy Tipping Point September 20, 2009, 3:54 pm
anon – thank you 🙂 i am real, i swear 🙂 hehe
Amanda McQueen September 20, 2009, 4:04 pm
Its nice to hear that everyone has bad running days, and that its not just me. I'm sorry your run didn't go as planned, but atleast you got out there and did it. I had a crappy run today too 🙁
Jaci September 20, 2009, 5:08 pm
It's OK! I know it can be so frustrating to have a bad workout when you know you have done better. You have the right attitude to know there are good days and bad. You will rock the next one!
Samantha September 20, 2009, 6:18 pm
Although I rarely comment, I read your blog daily. Caitlin, don't beat yourself up (although it appears you're already moving forward!)…even the best have bad runs. I'd urge you to read Dane R's blog over at seedanerun.com sometime. He's a pretty amazing runner (52 marathons in 52 weeks for charity, numerous marathon and triathlon victories, etc) and he still tells it like it is when he has a rough outing.

The one think that truly impressed me about this post compared to so many other bloggers our there is you not dwelling on the fact that your pace was off. Many a runner have been turned off of some of the popular food/fitness bloggers because they complain about their pace so much and make the rest of us feel slow.

Good for you counting your blessings, including that you CAN run. Those out there (myself included) that can't anymore (or at all) for whatever reason respect that you are appreciative of your abilities.

Keep up the hard work!
Oh She Glows September 21, 2009, 6:40 am
I'm just getting caught up on your run and I just wanted to send some big hugs your way. Bad runs happen to all of us and I know you will bounce back from this even stronger. We all have bad days now and then, so why would we expect this to not transfer into our exercise now and then? I think its totally normal. Thanks for being honest…I think a lot of people can relate! There will probably be other difficult struggles along the way to your marathon. But once its over you can look back with pride and see how far you really came!! And congrats on your mileage this week, that is awesome!
Ange
Jess September 21, 2009, 9:53 am
You should be happy that you finished that distance in the time you did. You're long training runs are not supposed to be fast anyway. That is when injuries happen. It may be a bit slower than your PR, but that is exactly how it is supposed to be. You should not be beating yourself up about it at all!
Laura@FindingAHealthyBalance September 21, 2009, 12:28 pm
You did it, that is what matters!!! CONGRATS!!! =) Laura

P.S. I ran a not so great long run on Saturday, but I was just happy I did it……..

http://findingahealthybalance.wordpress.com/
Amanda December 21, 2009, 11:15 pm
Catlin, a friend of mine recently told me about this website and i have already fallen in love with it! My friend and I are starting to train for a 1/2 marathon which is May 2nd. It is both of our first marathon of any kind. Any advice? I have been running since high school and am hoping this won’t completely turn me off from doing marathons since I am doing a half marathon as my first race.
- caitlin December 22, 2009, 6:47 am
  Thanks for reading 🙂 My advice would be to just work on building a good base but don’t start doing really long runs yet because you don’t want to wear yourself out (mentally or physically). http://www.halhigdon.com/halfmarathon/novice.htm that plan has you starting off at 11 miles in total a week, so work up to about 11 – 15, and try to do lots of strength training and flexibility work to prepare your body for the half. GOOD LUCK!

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